Ryan Lochte Wants You to Smell Like 'Pool Water' and Possibly Other Stuff

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If you need help hammering down those incessant pee jokes, Ryan Lochte and his brilliant acting might serve as solutions. 

Funny or Die brings a new Lochte video that will have you asking important questions such as, "How many takes did this thing take?"

The famed Olympic swimmer delivers lines like most artists paint, with careful albeit deliberate strokes that amaze and captivate. 

As for the video, the premise is Lochte selling some foo-foo juice called "Pool Water," which seems to utilize actual bottles of Cool Water cologne. 

The basic plot trends downwards when Lochte reminds us that he is known to urinate in the pool, as we found out at the 2012 Summer Olympics. The fact then gets hammered into your brain until all you can think of is Lochte relieving himself while others do laps. 

Of course, Lochte seems to be getting far more comfortable in front of the camera than he once was. As you recall, he once offered that acting was hard business, because remembering lines and moving is uber tough

The swimmer now has his very own reality-TV series on E! called, What Would Ryan Lochte Do? It's a show that has drawn criticism for not having the substance you might think would come with a Lochte series.

I know. I am shocked as well. 

It also demands Lochte go on the media circuit and provide interviews to sell the new show. The best moment came when he was interviewed by Philadelphia Fox 29's Good Day, an appearance that had the hosts deteriorate into a hysterical mess once the swimmer signed off. 

The athlete is truly adept in swimming in straight lines but finds some hardship in extending his talents beyond that specific endeavor. Not that we would want him to stop, because the world is far more interesting with Lochte the actor. 

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