Dallas Cowboys Draft: Shooting Blanks (Humor)

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Dallas Cowboys Draft: Shooting Blanks (Humor)

Always looking to make a "big splash", Dallas Cowboys' beloved owner Jerry Jones once again pulls out his trusty six-gun on the eve of the 2009 NFL Draft.


Bullet No. 1

Thursday morning, Jones decides to remove Flozell Adams from the starting lineup. Adams is replaced by Leonard Davis while he is put at backup right guard.


Bullet No. 2

On Thursday, without any fanfare, Jones secretly signs free agent Jeremy Bridges, offensive right guard from Carolina. Bridges is a 6'4", 326-pounder with seven years of NFL experience.

He comes very cheap, and will compete with Ryan Gibbons, Montrae Holland, and Kyle Kosier for the starting spot this season.


Bullet No. 3

Tonight, Jones makes a deal with either Miami, Baltimore, New England, or Carolina for their first-round pick in Saturday's draft. He gives up our second, third, and the first of our two fourth round picks.

With the newly acquired first round pick, Jones hopes to land one of the top three or four wide receivers in this draft. Even a No. 5 would suffice.


Bullet No. 4

With the 117th pick (fourth round), Dallas picks a quarterback.


Bullet No. 5

Jones points the gun at Wade Phillips. Threatening to shoot him, he fires Wade and orders him from the war room. He then announces that Jason Garret is the new head coach of the Dallas Cowboys.

He discharges the gun into the air and calmly blows the smoke from the barrel.


Bullet No. 6

Jones turns the gun on himself. Pointing it at his left temple, he pulls the trigger. Too bad they're only blanks...

 

(SouthernStar is a Cowboysrpide.net contributor. To read more, drop by and say hi.)

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