WWE Worst of the Week: Fandango, Ryback and More
Hope you had fun the past couple weeks, as the WrestleMania hangover is in full effect.
Cena has the title again, The Rock is gone and Sheamus and Big Show faced off for the 18th time in the past five months.
In a way, it's comforting to know that nothing has changed. New and exciting things are scary.
This could be a long spring and summer for the WWE without freshening up the product a bit. Hopefully the company isn't banking on a Booker T vs. Teddy Long feud to turn things around. Those two got as much TV time as the hype for The Undertaker's first match on Raw in three years received. Hope it was worth it.
Well, with that out of the way, put your feet up and relax as we look back and celebrate WWE's Worst of the Week.
No. 5: Lesnar vs. HHH, Round 3
No! No! Nooooooooo!
What do you want from me WWE? I'll buy more pay-per-views, I'll stop watching TNA on Thursdays, just no more Brock Lesnar vs. Triple H!
Well, since The Rock has been hurt, WWE couldn't figure out a single other superstar on their entire roster for Brock to take on, except for the reigning COO of the company.
Since Lesnar's return to the WWE last year, he has wrestled four times. Three of those will be devoted to a guy who wrestles just as often as he does.
The frustrating part about this feud is how they keep artificially dragging it out.
Lesnar and Hunter can't just agree to fight.
No, every time one of them challenges the other, we then have to wait a week to see if the other will accept. The announcers then act like it's the biggest challenge in history thrown out.
Well, spoiler alert, I'm guessing Triple H will accept next week, so could we please just skip the 15-minute promo about it?
No. 4: WWE Kills 'Fandangoing'
Well, it was a lot of fun while it lasted.
But sadly, it just didn’t last long enough. Sure, it may make a return in London, but for all intents and purposes "Fandangoing" is dead.
You just can’t force an arena of strangers to start dancing together, just like WWE couldn’t convince them to start hugging each other when they tried to with Team Hell No.
The crowd in New Jersey was humming Fandango's theme ironically. They didn't actually think Fandango is a really cool character. This aspect was lost on the WWE, and on Raw Fandangoing died an awkward, painful death.
Let's hope that the London crowd can create something new for us to enjoy, perhaps "Tensai-ing," and then WWE can once again take all the fun out of it.
No. 3: The Parking Lot of Doom
There have been worse setups for a match in wrestling history, though probably not many.
It doesn't get much lower than someone taking your parking spot! Wars have been started over that.
Actually, why were the cameras there anyway? Who wants to see Hornswoggle drive to the building?
Anyway, SmackDown brought back the never-ending feud of Hornswoggle, Natalya and The Great Khali against Primo, Epico and Rosa Mendes. It doesn't matter that we've seen The Great Khali defeat Primo and Epico twice by himself.
Apparently that isn't good enough for Booker T (or whoever books these matches) as Khali has defeated Primo and Epico in some form or another 10 times. It's almost like some sort of weird perversion that this match keeps happening again and again and again.
It's like Groundhog Day, where we're stuck in some sort of weird time loop that prevents us from moving forward. Except for this isn't funny or interesting, and Bill Murray isn't there. Basically, it's really horrible.
No. 2: Champions Lose...Again
Dolph Ziggler, Kaitlyn, Antonio Cesaro and Wade Barrett all lost on Raw.
Only John Cena and Team Hell No remained unscathed that night.
What was the point of Wade Barrett winning back the Intercontinental title if he’s just going to continue to lose every week?
A loss on Raw apparently wasn't good enough, as he took another one against Kofi Kingston that will quickly be forgotten by Monday. If you enjoyed that match, don't worry, it will probably keep happening in the near future with neither one actually winning the other's title.
WWE really needs to think about what they're going to do in the long-term future. The Rock is already gone, and Lesnar, HHH and Undertaker probably all have one more match before leaving again.
And now we’re hearing rumors of Batista returning.
Why don’t they try to make guys like Wade Barrett and Antonio Cesaro into stars instead? It will be cheaper, they’ll work full time and they’ll be around for years.
The first part of this plan will be to not have them lose every single week for no reason. It will be incredibly difficult for WWE to think of someone else who can job instead, but I promise it has been done.
No. 1: Cena Doesn't Wet His Khakis
The Good: WWE did a great job of having Ryback explain his heel turn. It played into months of TV time, and gave him a logical reason for turning his back on John Cena.
The Bad: He walked away from Cena at the end of his show.
Things got back to usual after WrestleMania with Cena showing no fear of Mark Henry and Ryback. He took opportunities to crack wise and undercut them whenever he had the chance.
The "wetting the khakis" line alone probably cost the company a few pay-per-view buys.
Cena also wasted no time in making Ryback seem like a pansy by insinuating that he isn't in HHH or Shawn Michaels' league.
So now if Cena beats Ryback what does he gain? Shouldn't he be building up Ryback as a dominant monster, so a victory against him means something?
The frustrating part was that this was all such a simple fix, too.
All WWE needed to do was have Cena and Ryback in the ring at the same time when The Shield attacked. Then, have Ryback look at Cena getting pummeled and walk away. That way, Ryback doesn’t look like a coward fof walking away, and he still gets the heat of not helping Cena out.
Instead, using WWE Logic 101, as soon as a babyface turns heel, they magically become a coward. Maybe WWE will realize that they should have booked the feud differently when the ratings continue to magically go down.
Well, that's all for this week! Agree? Disagree? What was your worst of the week? Sound off below and thanks for reading.