Paulina Gretzky and Her Bottom Are on a Boat Somewhere Beautiful
Christian Petersen/Getty Images
It’s about that time again—that is, the time for “Where in the World Is Paulina Gretzky?” update.
Surprise! Gretzky is on a boat, taking selfies in a bikini.
The self-proclaimed “mermaid” posted this picture to her Instagram account without further comment. While it appears to be a sexy, gratuitous shot of her beach body—and to be clear, it is a sexy, gratuitous shot of her beach body—like a Transformer, there’s more to this selfie than readily meets the eye.
Check the rock on Gretzky’s left ear. Craftily included but not the centerpiece of this image, the earring looks like it holds a sizable diamond in it.
The earring appears to be a new piece, perhaps a gift from her boyfriend, professional golfer Dustin Johnson.
Johnson definitely has the funds to throw down money for expensive jewelry for his girl, considering his career earnings in golf since turning pro in 2007 stack up to over $18 million.
After the end of the 2013 Masters on Sunday, Gretzky tweeted a picture of the two leaving Augusta via private jet. Must be nice.
Since the end of the tournament, it would appear that the two have been enjoying a tropical vacation. Gretzky—not one to ever leave an awesome, envy-inspiring moment undocumented—has been posting bikini and jort-centric shots of their exploits in a tropical location.
In summation, Gretzky the mermaid is on a vessel somewhere beautiful, being beautiful and is also being lavished in jewelry. The rest of us are on dry land (presumably) and green with envy.
I guess that's just how the cookie crumbles.
I’m a Mer-MAN, daddy: Dr__Carson
What is the duplicate article?
Why is this article offensive?
Where is this article plagiarized from?
Why is this article poorly edited?