Throwing Tomatoes: Frustrated at Sports? Launch the Lycopene!

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Throwing Tomatoes: Frustrated at Sports? Launch the Lycopene!
(Photo by Donald Miralle/Getty Images)

A few readers have dropped an inquiry about a possible return of the tomatoes.  

You know, you’re right.  The tomatoes need to come back.  After all, we all need our daily serving of fruit and vegetables, and what better than a tomato, that fruit that everyone thinks is a veggie. 

Moving on to a much deserved tomato tossing… here are this week’s victims:

 

Throwing Tomatoes: April 22, 2009

Percy Harvin and Brandon Tate

…for reportedly testing positive for pot.

Yes, kids… South Park does teach life lessons.  Just ask Mr. Mackey, who was known to say that “marijuana is bad, mmmkay”.  Apparently, former Gator Percy Harvin and former Tar Heel Brandon Tate have never seen the show.  Now, each considered a potential first-round NFL draft pick, could see a major hit… and not that kind of hit, my friends.

 

John Calipari

…for losing prized recruit Xavier Henry to the Jaykawks.

Coach Cal, welcome to Kentucky, arguably the biggest job in college basketball.  Only… apparently Xavier Henry, a top recruit, didn’t feel that was the case, and instead of following you from Memphis to Kentucky, he’s decided to play for Coach Self at Kansas.  And by the way, not that you need another kick in the rear, his brother is headed to KU, too.

Chien-Ming Wang

…for delivering more meatballs than an Italian restaurant.

To say that Wang’s start to the season has been ugly would be the understatement of the year.  Let’s put it into numbers: three starts, six innings, 23 hits, 23 runs, two K’s, and a 34.50 ERA.  Wow, Bea Arthur could hold her own better in the Yankees rotation.

David Ortiz

…for losing his edge and being less feared.

Big Papi was the guy… for years.  Now, he isn’t.  Yes, it’s early, but he’s below the mendoza line (.196).  He’s struckout 15 times already, one-fifth of his total from last year.  It hasn’t been pretty and besides, if I add a Yankee on here, I have to counter with a Boston player.  Enough said.

Majestic Athletic

…for misspelling the team name on a few jerseys of Nationals players last week.

Yep, for one day, they were the “Natinals”.  No “O”, oh the irony.  Seriously, maybe the Nats should just stick with the “D.C.” jerseys.  With two letters, the chances of an error are much less.

Orlando Magic

…for folding like cheap laundry in Game 1 of their series with Philly.

Orlando sported an 18-point lead at home late in the third, plus a 14-point lead entering the fourth quarter.  Plain and simple, you just have to get it done.  Props to the Sixers on a sweet comeback, but maybe Shaq was right, Coach Van Gundy does panic in the clutch.

 

Detroit Lions

…for introducing a “more fierce” logo after a goose egg season.

Is it me, or is a weak logo the least of Detroit’s problems?  Maybe I’m being hasty… the Lions will definitely scare off a few 300-pound beasts with that new logo.  Watch out above 1-15!

 

  This has been “Throwing Tomatoes”… where everyone is seeing red again.

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