As I drove home to Massachusetts to visit my family for Easter, I found myself with a dying IPod battery and plenty of time to reflect on life. And by life I mean the two things that are constantly on my mind: women and the Boston Celtics (and not always in that order).
I know what you’re thinking: "There’s no way Andrew's going to try to write a cheesy article loosely linking his relationships with women to the trials and tribulations of his favorite sports franchise."
That, my friends, is where you’re wrong.
The following is my attempt to explain the complex relationship between Kevin Durant and this diehard Boston Celtics fan.
A year ago, the Boston Celtics were in the midst of one of the worst seasons in Boston sports history after crawling out of a franchise-worst 18-game losing streak. The C’s faced unbelievable injury problems, a seriously waning fan base, and—worst of all—virtual obscurity. The 2006-2007 Boston Celtics finished as the second worst team in the NBA with just 24 wins.
There was a light at the end of the tunnel though: a 6-9 college freshman (soon to become the National College Player of the Year) with an absurd wingspan and a truly sleek skill-set that comes along maybe once in a generation.
This young man's name was known by every member of Celtic Nation. Kevin Durant was the hope we had longed for since Bird retired, Reggie Lewis left us all too early, we were teased by Tim Duncan in the NBA Draft Lottery, and Len Bias nearly took every Celtics fan's mental well-being with him.
Somehow, some way, Durant would be ours!
While the rest of the country argued over who was better—Durant or the equally dominant college freshman, Greg Oden—some Boston fans began to do something that had never been seen in the Beantown sports scene: They rooted against their team.
Tragedy and fading memories of glory days will do crazy things to sports fans. In the words of Rick James: "Cocaine’s a hell of a drug."
May 22, 2007–"A Day That Shall Live In Infamy"
Did the Sporting News cover with Tim Duncan in Celtics green that came out the week before the draft jinx us? Was it the Sports Guy's horrible decision to watch "Déjà vu" the night of the draft lottery that was exactly 10 years after the Duncan tragedy?
Maybe it was the basketball gods dishing out a dose of karma to a loyal fan base that had done the unthinkable and pined for their team to lose games down the stretch.
Whatever the reason, Boston dropped to the fifth spot in the 2007 NBA Draft, and Celtics fans were left with that horrible gut-wrenching "not again" feeling. What happened next was this fan’s worst nightmare.
Rumors that Pierce wants out, having to read half-assed sports columns suggesting that the Celtics aren't half-bad if Gerald Green can mature and develop his mental game (yes, the same Gerald Green who is currently not on an NBA roster less than a year later), and waiting over a month to see what (nearly) useless consolation prize the team would pick up.
When I finally got up the energy to call my family and friends to discuss the most recent Celtics tragedy, all of the true fans echoed Bill Simmons' sentiment about the lottery in his article published a week after the draft.
"The thing that really kills me? I thought we were going to win," Simmons said. "I really did. I was feeling it."
And here is where the link to women comes in...You see, Kevin Durant was the one who got away.
Let me explain.
Kevin Durant is like the girl that almost every guy has met at least once in his life.
She’s beautiful, popular, intelligent, and most importantly...she’s into you! Maybe you met her in high school, or maybe she was in your freshman writing class in college. You started talking to one another and then—to your surprise—you totally hit it off.
The two of you start hanging out more and more during the day, and talk to each other at night on the phone. Finally, you get up the courage to ask her out and then it hits you...REALITY!
Unlike the other amazing girls you’ve met before, her reasons are different. It’s fate...out of her hands. You see, if she’s the girl you met in high school, she’s going across the country to study at Reed College and doesn’t want to ruin the great relationship that you have built up over the past few months.
And if she’s the gorgeous young lady you met in college, she’s about to embark on a year-long term abroad in Europe and feels she needs to be single to find herself and also doesn’t want to ruin the great relationship that you have built up over the past few months.
Either way, you lose. It’s not for lack of effort or compatibility. For some unknown reason, it just wasn’t meant to be.
You’re hurt, but you accept it and after a short period of time realize that she’s not just feeding you a line. You really care as much about the friendship that you’ve created with this wonderful person so much that you wish nothing but the best for her.
Despite the fact that it’s a rare occurrence nowadays, you stay in touch with this girl and really do become best friends.
Kevin Durant, I have convinced myself, is THAT GIRL! Do I blame Kevin for what happened in the NBA Lottery? How can I? It’s beyond his control.
Instead, I’ve followed him so much and have begun to appreciate what he has to offer the NBA that I can’t help but hope the best for him, even if that means he’ll be playing for another team (whether it be in Seattle, Oklahoma City, or Corpus Christi).
Thanks to NBA League Pass, I get to keep in touch with KD and appreciate everything it is that he has done for me over the past year.
Now imagine this typical guy-meets-girl-and-falls-for-girl-but-they-become-friends-instead story has a unique twist. You’re now without the girl who’s meant so much to you and know that she’s about to move on, but you’re still alone and confused.
Then, out of nowhere, two really amazing older girls come along. They’re both really into you and want to hang out and just "see where things go." Sure, it won’t last forever, and it might be a mess if things don’t go right, but you HAVE to go for it.
The odds are slim that it will work and the whole thing could blow up in your face at any moment, but it’s just too tempting.
Suddenly you’re faced with the realization that you’ve come out on top and couldn’t be any luckier. You’ve got a great opportunity in front of you, and who knows what could happen down the road.
College doesn’t last forever and neither does a term abroad. Even if she meets someone, odds are there’s still a shot somewhere down the road. If she meets a guy at Reed, at some point she’s bound to grow tired of his refusal to shower, the constant stench of reefer, and his insistence that Frisbee is a sport.
And if she’s the girl you met in college, well she might meet a nice cultured man, but again...the whole not showering issue will rear its ugly head again.
And you know what, it really doesn’t even matter. Because you’re happy with the friendship you have and the accidental situation that it’s led to in the meantime.
And that’s where I am now as a basketball fan.
Do I miss the mental image of Kevin Durant gliding in for a monster dunk with his green and white jersey flapping in the wind? Of course. Am I foolish enough to worry about this when I’ve got Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett suiting up alongside Paul Pierce every night? Definitely not.
You see, I’m happy with how things turned out. I can be excited for Durant because, quite honestly, the Supersonics (guys at Reed or in Europe) are such a mess right now that I’m not all that worried.
Even if he ends up never donning a Celtics uniform, it’ll be quite alright because I’ve come to terms with our relationship. Such an amazing basketball player might never have been meant for me and my team, but nobody can keep me from watching and appreciating what he has to offer the NBA throughout his career.
So, all I have to say to Kevin Durant is: It’s cool, we can still be friends.
comments (48) write a comment »
write a new comment
6 months ago
What is wrong with you how do you come up with these genius stories! Who are you! Well done once again.
from 6 months ago
I appreciate the support Matt. Trust me... my mind's a frightening place.
6 months ago
unbelievable, funny, and slightly homo-erotic.
from 6 months ago
Thanks Safa... I think. haha
6 months ago
come on now, gerald green's on the rockets. ;). and nice article.
from 6 months ago
That was, unfortunately for Gerald, very short lived. He was waived by Houston for a 10-day contract offer to Mike Harris (formerly of the Chinese Basketball Association). Gerald was only a Rocket for 15 days... pretty sad for a guy with so much raw talent.
http://www.nba.com/nba_news/rockets_mikeharris_080308.html
6 months ago
Awesome read, Andrew.
from 6 months ago
Thanks JJ, I was a little worried at first about the idea. But it seemed to work alright once I was done (and got some help editing thanks to Bleacher Report of course).
6 months ago
Awesome story! Now I can't stop picturing Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett in drag like the Wayans Brothers in "White Chicks."
from 6 months ago
That's a scary mental picture...
6 months ago
Good read
from 6 months ago
Thanks Mike, much appreciated!
6 months ago
Yet again, I'm impressed! I LOVE reading your articles! :-)
from 6 months ago
Hey Kerrie, thanks for the read and the kind comment! I'll keep 'em coming if you keep reading them!
6 months ago
Great job. This gets my pick of the day vote.
from 6 months ago
Thanks for the pick vote Andrew, it's one of my first ones!! Glad you enjoyed the piece.
6 months ago
andrew, well done, as always. so many people forget and think the c's "should have" had oden. no, it is durant that "should have" been ours (memphis had the worst record, we were #2).
i kinda like the c's team the way it is now....as always, cannot wait for the playoffs.
from 6 months ago
My sentiments exactly. I couldn't have imagined a better situation in where the Celtics became immediately relevant. The playoffs will be excellent basketball in the Western Conference and the Eastern Conference. My prediction is that the hardest matchup Boston faces in the East does not come from the team formerly known as the Detroit Pistons Dynasty or Lebron James and Delonte West (and whoever else they have this week), but instead the 76ers. These guys simply want it more than most teams in the east. They give Boston a run for their money in every matchup because at times, they've wanted those games more than Boston... and it showed.
So you heard it here first... if Boston meets Philly, it'll take Game 6 to finish off the series. The rest of the C's Eastern Conference foes will be done in 5 or less.
6 months ago
Wow what a story lol...Bill Simmons Jr.?
from 6 months ago
Nate, how dare you throw around his name so lighty? But seriously, from one sports junkie to another that's a very strong compliment. Hopefully my own voice comes through in the piece and I don't sound like a wannabe. If anything I was worried it might come out a bit like a chapter of one of Chuck Klosterman's books (if you only know him from ESPN or don't know him at all, check out his stuff everyone).
Also, if everyone hasn't read Nate's article on Derrick Rose and the state of the Knicks... I just read it before seeing his comment and highly recommend it: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/15889
It's clear you're well-versed in your basketball/Knicks knowledge and have the ability to struggle through the tough years with a sense of humor. TRUST ME... I've been there! Keep it up Nate!
6 months ago
What can I say that hasn't been said? Brilliant concept Andrew and wonderful execution. A highly deserving Pick of the Day.
Honestly, this must have been a magical year for all of you out in Beantown. To go from having Antoine Walker hogging the ball and missing out on Duncan/Durant/Oden to fielding a competitive team ready to do damage in the playoffs must be a wonderful feeling.
Best of luck to you guys in the post season! And Andrew: please do us all a favor and don't hold back from taking a risk with concepts such a this and utilizing the breadth of your creativity when writing.
from 6 months ago
Zander,
It means a lot to hear such supportive words from you (and everyone else). I really never thought that I'd finally break through to get Pick of the Day on a off-kilter piece I came up with driving home sick with the flu. I wasn't really sure if it would work, but I knew that the place to test something out like this is a site like Bleacher Report where the readers are more than just casual sports fans.
Trust me, I don't miss the Antoine Walker "shimmy" after finally hitting a three pointer (after bricking the previous 7) and it all seems to have worked out pretty well for our guys. If the Celtics have taught me anything it's that sports is completely unpredictable and that's why every year no matter what team I'm rooting for, "This is the year." I think it's that feeling that makes a forum like this so special to all of us that we can actually overlook something as serious as Red Sox-Yankees rivalries or Duke-UNC history to take the time and support one another, as well as add our own two cents into the mix. I can't thank you and the other guys enough for giving us all Bleacher Report!
from 6 months ago
We created Bleacher Report with people like you in mind Andrew...glad you are enjoying it so much!
6 months ago
That was awesome. Keep up the fantastic work!
from 6 months ago
Glad you enjoyed it Alex!
6 months ago
You know, in the end, sometimes the one you want and the one you need may be totally opposites, but the one you need always provides the fulfillment that the one you want could never provide.
I think that makes sense?
Anyway, enjoyed it – great read!!
from 6 months ago
I couldn't agree more Timothy. Part of the fun is chasing the one you want, until you realize that the one you need is so much better in the end. Of course you put it a hell of a lot more eloquently than I did, but I wanted to echo the sentiment.
Thanks for reading Timothy!
from 6 months ago
I think the article really speaks for itself, whatever eloquence I provided in my comment was simply inspiration from the article. I totally related to it!!
It was my pleasure to read it. I thought it was great.
6 months ago
good stuff... as a matter of curiousity... have you actually had the "girl that's into you is going to Reed College/Europe" experience? it kinda sounds like your speaking from experience, or maybe you're just good at this, either way this is some good work, keep it coming
from 6 months ago
Max,
Can't say that I've had that exact experience, I took some liberties and implemented some hyperbole here and there. Thanks for reading
6 months ago
Hey Simmons called, he wants his style back...
from 6 months ago
He called?! And I missed it?? Jeez, you step out to go to the bathroom for a minute and Bill freakin' Simmons calls. Just my luck...
You can't please 'em all.
I guess all there is left to say is:
"Big gulps, huh? All right! Welp... see ya later."
6 months ago
Andrew, great piece. However, I don't think I'd want to be you if Kevin D., Ray A., or Kevin G. doesn't find being compared to a hot girl as amusing!!! Congrats on the Pick of the Day! Keep writing - love your style!
from 6 months ago
Kathy, thanks for the support! At least I haven't ticked off Paul Pierce... I'm pretty sure by my logic he stayed out of the equation so he's still a dude. But even I'm not completely sure.
6 months ago
Whatever "it" is you have it, man. You're very entertaining to read. Keep up the good work.
from 6 months ago
I appreciate the comment and the add as a favorite writer Marc.
6 months ago
I hardly ever read the bold print man, but you sucked me right in. What a great article! You do have it. It is nice to know that someone else felt the lost, besides a "Longhorn" fan. Keep it up! You've got me for life.
By Jerry
from 6 months ago
Thanks for the kind words Jerry. And thanks for sending the NBA Kevin Durant as quickly as possible. Sorry, but he's too fun to watch for him to only play about 30-35 games a year at college.
6 months ago
are the celtics a basketball team? sounds like a D-Leauge team to me...
from 6 months ago
Much moreso than the Flyers are a hockey team (hey buddy, thanks for checking out the site)
Question for you Dave... does your blood still run black [inside joke]?
6 months ago
great story though
6 months ago
Pretty close to my life at the moment so it was an enjoyable read. Good job :)
from 6 months ago
Thanks for checking out the article Nasser, I'm pretty sure everyone can relate to at least parts of the article. Not too many of the ladies on the site commented... hopefully it didn't offend them haha
6 months ago
Pretty close to my life at the moment so it was an enjoyable read. Good job :)
6 months ago
I feel bad that I didn't read this article yesterday so I could've given it a pick of the day vote. Great read!
from 6 months ago
Thanks Erick, glad you liked it so much. You'll just have to catch my next piece. I should have one if the Celtics' bench beats the Bobcats tonight.
6 months ago
Durant could be the next Kobe.
from 6 months ago
Kyle, thanks for the read and comment. haha I'm a bit afraid to even mention the K-word on Bleacher Report as it usually leads to a diminished level of conversation. But I'd have to agree that out of all the young players in the league he definitely shows the most promise to become as competitive and dominant as Kobe. The key word there is "promise" though. Kobe's definitely proven it and Durant's got plenty of time to try to achieve the same. That's precisely why I wrote this piece and why I'm intent on following KD's career no matter what the front of his jersey says.
write a new comment