PETA Threatens Nascar Fans' God-Given Right To Dance

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PETA Threatens Nascar Fans' God-Given Right To Dance

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have really gone and done it now: They are threatening NASCAR fans' God-given right to dance.

Yes, that's right, PETA is calling for the boycott of the Chicken Dance at Talladega Superspeedway, where race fans are planning to attempt to set the world record for the most people in one spot doing the dance.

According to Bob Pockrass of scenedaily, the President of PETA is lobbying for the folks at the Guinness World Records to not certify the Chicken Dance record at Talladega should it indeed be set by the NASCAR fans. 

The good folks at PETA allege that promotion of said Dance is unethical, as it is sponsored by Kentucky Fried Chicken, a fast food restaurant that they assert treats chickens unfairly.

Let's face it: PETA is probably right about that unfair treatment of the chickens at KFC. Coating them with that secret recipe and dropping them into the deep fryer most likely does qualify as a bit cruel.

But come on! Connecting a fast food restaurant's treatment of chickens to their sponsorship of a contest at one of NASCAR's greatest race tracks is just plain cuckoo.

Apparently, the folks at Guinness and Talladega feel the same way. In a prepared statement, Guinness advised that "Recognizing a mass participation record for the most people doing the Chicken Dance is completely separate to any issue of animal cruelty".

Talladega Superspeedway also issued a statement, saying that the Chicken Dance plans have been in place for quite some time and will proceed as planned. The speedway leadership, however, really had wanted to announce the contest in quite a different, and no doubt a much more positive, light.

The current record for most people dancing apparently is 72,000, set on September 1, 1996 at the Fair in Canfield, Ohio. Since Talladega seats 143,000, and there is hope that everyone in attendance will participate, there is good reason to believe the current mark will be shattered.

For those enthusiasts heading to Talladega that may not be as familiar with the Chicken Dance, the following is an excellent primer on the subject:

  • At the start of the music, make the shape of a chicken beak with your hands. Open and close it four times, matching the first four beats of the music.
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  • Next, make chicken wings with your arms. Flap your "wings" four times over the next four beats of the music.
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  • Then, make a chicken's tail feathers with your arms and hands. Wiggle downwards during the next four beats of the music.
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  • Clap four times during the next four beats.
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  • Now repeat the above four steps four times.
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  • Then, at the bridge, hold your arms straight, in imitation of an airplane. Spin around the room in "flight" until the bridge ends.
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  • All steps repeat, progressively getting faster and faster, until the music stops.
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    PETA: Beware.

    The NASCAR faithful are now primed and ready to head for Talladega to exercise their God-given right to dance.  They will dance the chicken dance.  They will just dance.

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