I'd Rather Have My Daughter a Lady of the Night Than My Son a Dodger Fan

LeftyinthepenContributor IApril 20, 2009

DALLAS - MARCH 17:  The Dallas Mavericks dancers wear shamrocks for St. Patrick's day on March 17, 2009 at American Airlines Center in Dallas, Texas.  NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this Photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.  (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

When I first heard my dad utter those words, I nearly pissed myself. It came out so random, so out of the blue, that it couldn't have been funnier if the funniest man on earth had said it.

I really don't remember the context on how, or why, or even when he said it. I think we were in a place that serves alcohol, and we all had a few in us.

I don't think it was even said during baseball season.

This just goes to show what a feeling Dodger Blue gives 99.9 percent of us Padre fans.  We don't like their Dodger Dogs, we can't stand those L.A. caps, Dodger Blue, Tommy Lasorda, Chavez Ravine, or Dodger Week, and we don't "Think Blue."

All of it makes me want to vomit Dodger Blue chunks.

At least they gave us Vin Scully. Even I can't say anything bad about that man.

I understand that sometimes a rivalry can be a one way street. Most rivalries have history, and have bad blood on both sides such that the very thought of seeing the opposing team's colors makes one's face flush and heartrate rise.

This rivalry, as told to me by many Dodger faithful, is one-sided. They really don't care about us that much, because we aren't the Giants.

Good, because we really could care less if they hate us as much as we hate them.

The year 1996 was a dream come true for us. To beat the Dodgers in Chavez Ravine and win the division on that last weekend was indescribable.

I would have loved to hear Scully's broadcast that weekend.

I know, Dodgers still made the playoffs that year, and both teams were swept out of the playoffs. But it was still sweet.

That brings us to this year.

The season is barely two weeks old. The Dodgers are the defending NL West champs, and are widely picked to repeat again this year. 

The Padres? They lost 99 games last season and, with the offense they have, weren't expected to do much of anything this year.

However, two weeks into the season, these two teams are separated by one game.

Yeah, as a Padre fan, maybe we are jumping the gun just a bit. But after a season-opening split of a four-game series with the Dodgers—the Padres haven't lost a series yet—things are looking better than we all thought.

Heck, I wrote an article about it here: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/145554-padre-fans-this-is-going-to-be-a-very-long-season

I don't have any illusions about the Padres and their 2009 season.

I never expected them to play this well for this long in any stretch of '09. I never expected them to be five games above .500 at any point during this season. And I never thought I would see them one game out of first place.

I'm not sure if the Padres are going to crash back to Earth, or if this is their Earth.

Can they keep this momentum and make a serious run for the post season? I know, it's still April, we have over 140 games left in the season, and the first 13 games of the season is still only the first 13 games of the season.

But what can I say? I'm a little excited that we are two weeks into the season, and we can proclaim we are not in last place. Only two teams in the NL West are above .500, and the Padres are one of them.

So already, this season is looking better than it did when I went to those two ill-fated spring training games.

I hope I didn't offend any "ladies of the night" by comparing them to Dodger Fans. I know not too many of you would appreciate that, and I would hate for you to have your reputations destroyed by mentioning you in the same sentence with the boys in blue.

It's probably a better way to earn a living anyway, lying on your back, rather than throwing Dodger Dogs at opposing fans and players.