Wanted: The Future Mrs. Dale Earnhardt Jr. (Humor)

Horn FanSenior Writer IApril 19, 2009

Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s life is almost complete.

He drives for the Hendrick dynasty, owes his own family team in JR Motorsports.

Lives in a brand new home on a 200 acre farm, that comes complete with friendly neighbors, a Western themed town, and two Bison named Laverne and Shirley.

Next on his to do list is to find a women to settle down with, and one that has a bring-home-to-mama quality.

He's been open and willing to get married now for three or four years.

For the record he has had a few top-notch women that he let get away and their making other guys very happy. 

But his hectic schedule, fast-lane life has made it tough, and nearly impossible to meet that special lady. One that you know your life is complete, you just can't wait to bring her home to meet mama and the rest of the family.

So I figured.

Hm, Bleacher Report would be a good place to try to help Junior out.

More importantly maybe the Foxes In The Hen house would have a community member that meets his criteria.

It's open to anyone 18 to 55 years old, doesn't matter if you are a fan of another driver or if your not a NASCAR fan yet. You can always learn to love it.

I must warn you my wife already sent in her application, she meets several of the criteria and sent him her criteria as well.

Do you meet his criteria, if you answer these questions correctly you just might be Mrs. Dale Earnhardt Jr..

1.) Can you mentally connect with Junior?

2.) Can you understand and read him like his big sister Kelly or his Mama?

3.) Can you read him like a book and are okay with half of it?

4.) He wants to be particular, has no plans to change, and can you handle that?

5.) Understand that being a driver's wife is a tough life?

6.) Can you toss your life a side, then adapt to his racing life style?

7.) Willing to give up your career, either not working or helping out at JR Motorsports?

8.) Don't mind hanging out in a Motorhome for long periods of time?

9.) Don't mind non-stop shopping in all the wonderful cities that make up the NASCAR   schedule without getting burned out?

Seems it hasn't struck him yet to change or relax his criteria or standards.

He really does admire the many wives on pit road that are married to drivers and crew members and would love nothing more than to join the club.

Now if you meet the above criteria. Your final hurdle, is dealing with his driving career for at least 15 more competitive years or longer depending on how he feels when that day comes.

This was taken from a article in ESPN Magazine from last year and I tried to put a humor twist to it.

Photo Credit: img.dailymail.co.uk