It's WrestleMania season!
I assure you, it is.
Don't we have part-timers like Undertaker, Rock, Triple H and Brock Lesnar back?
Isn't that all we need to label a certain event as huge? In 2013 WWE, it is. Knowing WWE Creative, this isn't a rarity but combining their laziness with WrestleMania is a new rock-bottom low.
WWE is under the blissful assumption that simply providing star power is enough for a WrestleMania.
While we do appreciate a Brock Lesnar or Undertaker spectacle at WrestleMania, we are still hungry wrestling fans at heart and would appreciate a bit of curiosity and anticipation to fuel our desires. We would like that to enhance our viewing of the supposedly biggest pay-per-view of the year—we ask not much, but some effort that we know the WWE is capable of.
Starting from the top, the WWE Championship feud is apocalyptically stagnant.
Following a decent back and forth promo that served as an introduction to the second chapter of this Rock-Cena saga there has been nothing more.
Our heroic saintly WWE Champion hasn't made an appearance in two weeks now which is what we expect from a champion who has worked ten years for this reputed title and is very proud to hold it and is also never leaving again.
Meanwhile, John Cena on his own this time has been pretty subdued. This is exactly why we didn't want another "Once In A Lifetime"—we were apprehensive. Apprehensive that Cena and Rock would have nothing more to say to each other and they actually don't. Apprehensive that we would have to sit through a month of 'Your time is up my time is now!' followed by WrestleMania sign-pointing and 'If you smell what the Rock is cookin'' followed by fifty jumps and flexing.
Apprehensive that we would have to sit through all of that for just an above average match at WrestleMania.
What made the first feud and their match at Wrestlemania XVIII good, was indisputably the drama—anyone could win and each had their reasons for winning. Colossal rewards were at stake—if Cena had won he would have trumped an icon of the Attitude Era and solidified his stance and had Rock won, we were looking at a Cena heel turn (which didn't happen).
At that time we believed a Cena loss would result in his turn to the dark side and that's all that was needed for the anticipation.
They don't have it this time.
Not many can honestly believe The Rock is going to win and stay champion. If the guy disappears for half a month with the belt during the most happening month in the WWE year, it's easier to believe that Rufus 'Pancake' Patterson is not Titus O'Neil himself rather than believing Rock has time for the Extreme Rules pay-per-view.
This is also, one of the reasons why we didn't want Rock as champion itself, but he draws the viewers who watch one WWE show a year and that's all that matters right?
I'm not sure how big a hand Triple H has had in the Brock-HHH storyline, so for the sake of our future, I'm hoping not that big.
In a classic tale of, Brock responds...Triple H responds...Brock responds, we've gotten nowhere. The whole forced attempt at suspense with the surprise stipulation element was downright disappointing.
If I was placing Hunter in a position to sign a contract without being notified of the stipulations, I would do something to put him at a disadvantage—something to throw him off guard, not a no-count outs, no disqualification shtick he would have enforced himself using his COO powers.
Paul Heyman and Lesnar could have done anything, anything—like a First Blood or Three Stages of Hell, Hell In A Cell or even the Punjabi Prison—something HHH isn't expecting and isn't ready for just out of retirement.
Instead they put his career on the line—something he already gave up on last summer. He's only back to fight Lesnar—the guy who forced him into retirement in the first place. I'm pretty sure had Heyman given him the stipulation before signing the contract he would have anyway.
Corporate HHH has achieved everything in this kayfabe dome and has nothing to prove. This is why he retired—he has already entertained thoughts of moving on.
It's more like Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker at WrestleMania 26, where Shawn clearly stated that if he didn't manage to get the job done he had no career.
A special mention also goes out to WWE for killing whatever tag team division they had created over the year. If we chronicle progress via WrestleManias, we would despondently conclude that the tag team division was in a coma through the phase between Wrestlemania 28 and Wrestlemania 29 which is sadly untrue.
I'm surprised to see my fingers move about the keyboard as they type this (almost like I'm possessed) but the only intricately constructed feud this season has been Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger.
They've worked on a strong point of view from the beginning, expanded on it with each show and even added more elements as they go along (Ricardo's injury).
That, and also Punk-Undertaker. Not only are they building to a potentially legendary match, the hype itself has been great. CM Punk has been the perfect heel we want him to be and I legitimately want Undertaker to murder him at WrestleMania. No hard feelings, Punk.
That being said, there are still two RAWs to go. We love wrestling and want to stick around—WWE, stop giving us reasons not to.
Thanks for the read all.
Shalaj Lawania is known for his disappearing acts, because being there all the time is too mainstream. Do show him love, he needs it. For more love, you can follow him on Twitter if you have a good annoying tweets threshold. For the rest, use Wikipedia.