Why the Sports Media Is Retarded

Ryan

Senior Writer Written on April 17, 2009

ATLANTA - MARCH 14: Greg Paulus #3 of the Duke Blue Devils walks upcourt against the Maryland Terrapins during the semifinals of the 2009 ACC Men's Basketball Tournament on March 14, 2009 at the Georgia Dome in Atlanta, Georgia. (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

(Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

First off, this isn't my comeback or a permanent return: this is just to address something that has been bothering me.

As anyone who has read my work knows, I am a Michigan football fan. Times have been rough of late, but things look bright.

Lately, though, things have been brutal as far as being a Michigan fan goes. The sports media is to thank for this.

Apparently, former Duke basketball player Greg Paulus has the opportunity to "compete" for the starting quarterback job. It's fun when we play with words.

Paulus won't be getting a scholarship. He'll be walking on and "competing" for this job. By that definition, I could "compete" for the starting job if I wanted because I certainly could walk on and state my intentions to do so. It still doesn't make it a remotely realistic possibility.

Anyone who's taken five seconds to research Michigan's quarterback situation KNOWS that freshman Tate Forcier will start and probably play the whole season unless he is broken in half.

Even after him, it'll be between Denard Robinson and Nick "Suicidal Kitten" Sheridan. There literally is no chance of Paulus seeing any starting time, let alone meaningful snaps. Well, I stand corrected. If all three scholarship QB's are killed AND dismembered, he has a shot. Because even a lifeless Forcier is better than Paulus.

So please: enough of this talk of Paulus. The guy isn't getting a scholarship. He has NO chance to start and Michigan has nothing to lose from letting a QB with potential walk on and take a stab at it.

And now I will return to my hiatus, probably angry with the next stupid thing that comes out about Michigan.

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written on April 17, 2009 Humor