Hardball Civil War: Arkansas vs. Mississippi

(Photo by Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images)

I blame the World Baseball Classic.

Ever since the WBC filled my head with notions of baseball as a regional conflict, a geopolitical grudge match in which pride and passion are personified by pitching and power and probably some other words beginning with "P" that I couldn't even wedge into that sentence, my mind has been consumed with thoughts of crafting baseball teams based on place of origin.

Consumed and, thanks to the wonder that is Baseball-Reference.com, which actually lists ballplayers by place of birth, quite busy figuring out exactly how it would work.

If you poke around B-R for any length of time, you'll quickly realize you can't just make one team of Major League-caliber ballplayers per each state. 

Actually, if you watched the WBC, you probably know this intuitively: Every now and then you'd get a Team Netherlands, a scrappy underdog making a championship run with strong infield defense and, I dunno, lucky tulip bulbs or something. 

But if you really try to match, say, the best baseball players ever to hail from Montana against the best ballplayers from California, I say you're much more likely to end up with Team Roadkill.

So you dig a little deeper.  I won't bore you with the details, since you're probably slightly bored,  if you haven't already clicked off this page to view the latest Celebrity Apprentice news, but suffice it to say, if around 100 major-league players have been born in a state, you can usually make a respectable team. 

When the number gets up toward 300, you can actually make a good team.  And when you get up into the thousands, it's time to start making additional teams by city and region.

Wait, wait!  Don't surf back to the Apprentice page yet!  Dennis Rodman isn't even on that show anymore!  One more paragraph, and we'll get down to business.

The point is, it's fun to compare baseball players by their native region, and I've developed a logical and unnecessarily complex playoff bracket for so doing.  It includes 64 slots arranged by region: Southeast, Northeast, Eastern Seaboard, Central, Midwest, West, California (yes, a whole bracket!) and International. 

Since I'm fascinated by this stuff and quite possibly clinically insane, I thought I'd write it up as an actual tournament, beginning with two states on the bubble of making the Southern bracket: Team Arkansas and Team Mississippi.

We'll compare these theoretical, state-based baseball teams at 18 positions: Starting Lineup, Designated Hitter, 5 starting pitchers, closer, bullpen, bench, and manager. 

Nine points or "games" will be assigned to each position, which multiplies neatly to 162, the same number of games played in a baseball season.  The team with the better record at the end of this comparison will gain entry to our Southern bracket, which means I'll write about them again sometime.

Confused?  Am I fired yet?  Aw, just read:

Catchers

The Natural State (that's Arkansas, not nudity, if you were wondering) has given birth to a number of fine catchers, including 1950's slugger Sherm Lollar, solid left-handed bat Earl Smith (ranked No. 100 all-time behind the plate by Bill James), and Cleveland Indians receiver Glenn Myatt, who once hit .342 even if it was during the 1920's when they gave away three base hits in every box of Cracker Jacks. 

You can make a pretty decent platoon arrangement out of that.

On the other hand, the finest backstop ever to hail from the Magnolia State, Mississippi, was one Sport McAllister, who was... well... heck if I know.  This is a clean win for the land of the Clintons.  8-1 Arkansas.

First Base

The reverse situation holds true at first base.  Mississippi has given us right-handed slugger George Scott, who played outstanding defense for several seasons as a member of the Boston Red Sox, although they probably would have paid him much better had he been an immobile slugger.  

Arkansas has never spawned a first sacker more highly regarded than Tommy McCraw.  In McCraw's defense, it was the 1960's, and the White Sox were freezing the baseballs.  (You see?  It's not the steroids causing cheap home runs!  It's all due to global warming!)  I make this 8-1 Mississippi.

Second Base

Mississippi gave us Frank White, cover boy for this article and all-around Robin to George Brett's Batman.  The trick is to figure out whether it's the slick-fielding, doubles-hitting White from the early 80's or the slower, power-hitting version from later in the decade. 

Either one was better than Aaron Ward, who is probably no relation to Burt Ward, who also played Robin.  It all fits together, cosmically speaking.  7-2 Mississippi.

Shortstop

Arkansas, fittingly, is the birthplace of all-time great shortstop Arky Vaughan, who is probably just glad he wasn't born in Boston.  Current Brewer Bill Hall and 1930's Athletic Eric McNair could fill out this position adequately for Mississippi, but heck, they're no Massachuttsey Vaughan.  6-3 Arkansas.

Third Base

Here's where The Natural State—and no, it's not Roy Hobbes' homeland either—really shines, because both Brooks Robinson and George Kell come from Arkansas. 

Do you want a third baseman who hits .350, or one who won an estimated 37 Gold Gloves?  (In real life, Brooks won only 16 of those, but we're assuming he would have remained the best defensive third baseman in the AL through the mid-nineties, if only he'd kept playing to age 58.  Also, at the request of Sparky Anderson, we're counting 1970 twice.) 

Mississippi did give us Beltin' Bill Melton, the best third baseman in White Sox history until Robin Ventura.  This is slightly, but not much, more impressive than being the most reliable member of the management team at AIG.  6-3, Arkansas.

Left Field

Arkansas boasts Hall of Famer Lou Brock, who you may have heard is no longer the greatest of all time according to Rickey Henderson.  But he ain't bad, either. 

Mississippi can counter with Ellis Burks, a solid hitter and a borderline star, but it's not going to be enough unless Burks gets to take all of his at-bats in 1996 at Coors Field. 

Come to that, Queen Elizabeth II probably could have popped 35 homers in 1996 at Coors Field, and it's been some time since Her Royal Highness even showed up for BP.  6-3, Arkansas.

Center Field

Here's where it gets tricky.  In Torii Hunter and Lloyd Moseby, Arkansas has given us a pair of American League center fielders of recent vintage, both All-Star caliber. 

On the other hand, Mississippi is stuck with Chet Lemon, who is in the same class but there's only one of him...unless we give them credit for Cool Papa Bell, the great Negro League outfielder, who was reportedly so fast, he once flipped a switch, turning on American Idol, and then got into bed before Simon Cowell was able to say anything snarky. 

No, seriously, he was very fast.  I just have no idea how fast and the records are sketchy.  But he's in the Hall of Fame, and that counts for something.  6-3, Mississippi.

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