Welcome back to another edition of WWE Worst of the Week!
Raw was an emotional night as the WWE Universe watched a touching tribute for Paul Bearer.
Thankfully Bearer's son Kane was able to pull himself together enough to harass Halle Berry over the phone.
Some weeks it’s hard to narrow down just five questionable things in WWE, and this was one of them.
Between the overbearing amount of recap segments, and the excessive promotion of WWE movies, there wasn’t a lot to get excited about. It was hard to tell that the biggest pay-per-view of the year is just weeks away.
Sure, Punk and Taker took on a more personal touch (which is bound to offend some), but the undercard matches for WrestleMania seem to be falling apart faster than you can say "Mexican food."
This list takes a look back at the wretched and depressing moments of the week that make you hide your old VHS wrestling tapes and plastic spinner belts when the family comes over for dinner.
With that in mind, let’s get ready to rant, and take a look back at WWE’s worst of the week!
Last week on SmackDown, Fandango shocked the WWE universe when he refused to wrestle. We all held out hope that the sixth time would be the charm.
They cut to a backstage segment where Booker T. was talking to Teddy Long.
Booker told Teddy to let Fandango know that the next time he books him in a match he better compete.
Fandango then, of course, pulled the same act on Raw and again on SmackDown. This time Booker didn't seem to care.
It's a minor detail, but it just shows how lazy that the booking of Fandango has been so far. We're just going to be subjected to repeated entries in his opponents' failure to say his name until WWE figures out what to do with him. (Which may or may not be a horrifyingly obnoxious match against Chris Jericho at Mania.)
Fandango's segment on Raw had him hitting on one of the Funkadactyles, and his SmackDown appearance gave us The Great Khali doing his best at saying his name.
Both segments, however, failed in their goal to be entertaining.
The only thing that we have to be thankful for is that the segment with Khali didn't end in a dance-off. They're probably saving that for a future pay-per-view.
“Oh you were not aware of this?
Your posterior better contact someone at once!"
The Rhodes Scholars are back and better than ever. Or, just as hopeless, and ineffective as they always were.
The initially promising tag team was jobbed out weeks after their formation, and WWE decided to split them up before they should have.
During their singles runs, they were then both jobbed out repeatedly some more for good measure.
Now they’re back together…and WWE wasted no time in having them lose their first two matches.
The Scholars are infinitely more entertaining than Orton and Sheamus, who ran their respective acts into the ground quite some time ago.
Had WWE taken the time, a New Age Outlaws vs. Team Rhodes Scholars would have been a fun mid-card match at WrestleMania. Instead, Sheamus and Orton needed wins apparently.
I mean, if they weren't squashing The Scholars twice every week who would think they'd stand a chance against The Shield?
Someone in WWE needs to be made aware that this is not good form.
For years, most assumed that Halle Berry’s most embarrassing role would forever be known as Catwoman.
Her appearance on Monday's Raw may give her a run for a new low.
Having Halle Berry willingly participate in a skit for WWE was a pretty good get.
She is a former Oscar winner after all.
However, it is kind of sad to see her go from giant blockbusters like the X-Men films and Die Another Day to a WWE film (though The Call did do surprisingly well at the box office).
I mean, Carrot Top and Rob Schneider you'd expect to show up any day to star in a WWE vehicle alongside The Big Show and Jey Uso, but Halle Berry and Colin Farrell?
What's next? Judi Dench joining the Rhodes Scholars? Though that would be amazingly awesome...
What made the segment extra bad was the fact that it aired on the night of Paul Bearer's tribute. We had seen Kane earlier in the night being incredibly solemn. He was then getting ready to to exact revenge on CM Punk for disrespecting his father.
Before that happened, WWE went ahead with airing this segment that showed a comedic and desperate Kane just trying to get a picnic date.
Last week Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez took the honor for the Worst of the Week award, and they’re placing high again this week with the exact same skit.
Their impression of Swagger and Colter was so horrendous that WWE felt the need to show it two more times in its entirety!
It’s almost like McMahon thought the audience didn’t get the joke the first time, (that must have been why no one was laughing right?).
However, watching the crowd’s reaction on Raw though, it was clear that this segment should have died a horrible death and never been heard from again.
Then on Main Event, Rodriguez told the crowd he wanted to show them something “funny.”
The joke was on us though. It's like he kicked us in the collective balls and ovaries, and then he had a good laugh at it while we sat there in pain.
SmackDown then ruined the week by treating us to another new entry in this comedy series (or maybe it's some sort of high-art drama, which would explain the lack of actual jokes). Not surprisingly, this entry was more-or-less as terrible as the first one.
Maybe WWE should just drop this whole storyline and deport whoever wrote these sketches.
“This may be the worst segment in the history of Raw.”
-Michael Cole, Raw, Mar. 11
It’s not quite clear what was wrong with the Highlight Reel on Raw. Apparently Maddox is getting blamed for it backstage, but Maddox was just being Maddox.
Maybe he was too much Maddox for McMahon that night.
Jericho and Miz on the other hand were insufferable.
What is going on with these two? Is there two more in love with themselves, over-the-top annoying babyfaces in all of wrestling right now?
Miz’s impression of Barrett's accent made him look downright idiotic, as did Jericho’s claim that Miz has a “hit movie.”
Barrett was also horribly miscast here as a delusional wannabe actor, instead of a badass brawler.
Jericho topped if off with an obnoxiously long “reallllly” that even Michael Cole responded with “how bad is this?”
Also why would someone brag about being a nine time intercontinental champion to the current champ? That just means that Jericho lost the belt nine times.
If WWE was a restaurant, this would have been the point in the meal where you'd stand up and yell "check please!", and then never return and then go home and vomit from food poisoning.
Well, that's all for this week. Agree? Disagree? What was your worst of the week? Sound off below!