After a busy offseason for the New York Mets, including a nine-figure extension for David Wright and trading Cy Young winner R.A. Dickey, there is one ultimate question that no one seems to be talking about: Which Mets players would be cast as the main characters in Star Wars?
And with J.J. Abrams set to direct Disney’s first Star Wars movie in their new trilogy, there is no better time to start the debate.
Considering a Lucasfilm source says the trilogy will be an entirely original story, these guesses cannot apply to the new trilogy.
Nevertheless, here are my guesses (some explanations may contain a spoiler alert) for recasting the Mets as Star Wars characters:
If Cowgill shaves his beard, he would be an Oscar-worthy Luke Skywalker.
Although Cowgill is a bit scruffier than Skywalker, both men are short and share common personality traits.
Skywalker is a passionate and reckless person. He acts on impulse with little regard for his safety. Indeed, Yoda criticizes Skywalker for always looking to the future instead of his present-day problems. Han Solo’s first impression of Skywalker when they meet in Tattooine is that Skywalker was just a naïve kid who needed to be taught a lesson.
He eventually learned the Force, as well as patience and wisdom. But he always remained passionate and loyal to his father, Darth Vader, even after it appeared he was beyond saving from the dark side.
Similarly, Cowgill plays the game of baseball with reckless abandon. He is fearless running the bases and does not let his size get in the way of results. His aggressive approach can make or break him, but Cowgill has consistently put up good numbers.
After a strong spring training so far, he should continue to produce for the remainder of the season.
While Skywalker was considered a savior and war hero who helped bring down the Empire, Cowgill is not quite the “savior” for the Mets.
Regardless, they are both short in stature and too similar in personality for Cowgill not to play Luke Skywalker.
There are a lot of similarities between these two.
Solo is quick and inventive. He still manages to contribute even though he is surrounded by much more powerful Jedi. Solo is not nearly at the level of a Jedi, but he uses his cunning, quick draw and even his cockiness to get out of sticky situations.
But his personality can also be a nightmare. He is incredibly dry and rude, and he often gets into small arguments with Luke and Princess Leia due to his personality.
As for Santana, he has never had the best stuff as a pitcher, but he has always delivered results.
Primarily due to his control and devastating changeup, Santana has become one of the best pitchers in baseball before his various shoulder injuries. From 2003-2010, Santana never had an ERA higher than 3.33, fewer than 11 wins, or a WHIP higher than 1.21. This includes five straight seasons of at least 200 strikeouts and 15 wins.
He was never a power pitcher like the other modern-day aces. But like Solo, Santana used his cunning to become one of the best.
If he shaves the goatee, grows his hair out and learns how to sound cockier, Santana would be the spitting image of Han Solo.
There is no denying the resemblance between Darth Vader and the Wilpons (right, Jeff).
If the Olsen twins can both alternate as a single character in Full House, the Wilpons can alternate as Darth Vader, right?
Other than that, I really don’t need to hash out the similarities between these two. You can use your imagination.
Leia and Tejada both have a very youthful look, and Tejada will make a fine princess.
Kind of hard to cast a female role with a male baseball team, but this one has to be Tejada.
Leia accomplished a lot at a young age. She was the youngest senator ever of the Galactic Empire and was part of the trio that helped take down Darth Vader.
Similarly, Tejada had the tough task of replacing the great Jose Reyes. At only 22-years-old, he played superb defense and hit surprisingly well in his first full season. He slumped toward the end of 2012, as his .325 batting average at the All-Star break slipped to .289 by the end of the season.
Leia and Tejada both have a bit of a baby face too, but they combine that with tough character.
Collins is old and short and respected enough to already resemble Yoda in a big way.
Yoda is the undisputed leader of the Jedi, as well as one of the most respected members on the Jedi High Council. He usually remains calm but knows when he must be assertive.
Collins is also a very mellow manager, and he is well-respected by Mets players. Likewise, he can get assertive when necessary, and he too is the leader of this Mets team.
Plus, they’re both pretty old and short.
Duda and Chewie look almost identical.
This one doesn’t need much explanation either.
They’re both big. They’re both strong. They’re both hairy. They both carry themselves a bit awkwardly.
But Chewbacca is one of the best co-pilots in the galaxy and a hero on his planet, Kashyyyk, while Duda seems destined for a 150-strikeout season. If he even gets enough playing time to reach that mark.
Yet, there’s no denying that the physical similarities between these two are uncanny.
Niese is not nearly as evil and cold-blooded as Calrissian, but both men know how to get themselves out of a jam.
Calrissian is one of the more enigmatic characters in Star Wars. Han Solo even calls him one of the biggest liars in the galaxy.
Indeed, Calrissian is a bit of a con man, or at the very least a gambler. He gives the appearance of a charming, funny, confident and adventurous man with good morals. Calrissian is very loyal, and he refuses to use guns even though he deals with criminals. Instead, Calrissian preferred to use his personality and con skills to get out of trouble.
This is not to say Niese is a con artist or a bad person. And the married Niese is not quite as much the ladies' man as Calrissian was.
But what Niese does is quietly produce results. He is not the most overpowering or flashy pitcher but he can get out of anything. Niese threw almost 200 innings last season with a 3.40 ERA.
Even more, Billy Dee Williams also starred in one of the most underrated baseball comedies ever, The Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars & Motor Kings. Williams was the titular pitcher, Bingo Long, during the high-flying times of barnstorming in baseball. The movie also stars James Earl Jones (Darth Vader) and the legendary Richard Pryor.
Long’s character is based on the great Satchel Paige, and it is fitting that a pitcher should play the role of Calrissian.
As for the similarities between Calrissian and Niese, both characters are unconventional in their tactics, but both characters also know how to get the job done.
Wright is a leader among men and second-in-command to Collins, just as Obi-Wan was second to Yoda.
Finally, the Mets superstar lands his role.
Obi-Wan is practically Yoda’s second-in-command, and he is a superbly talented Jedi. He is also the man who groomed both Anakin and Luke Skywalker and taught them to become powerful Jedi.
Wright is the unspoken leader and captain of the Mets. Even Collins openly states that this is Wright’s team and he is the captain. As for the official ‘C’, Collins is even considering making Wright just the third captain in all of baseball, next to Derek Jeter and Paul Konerko.
Both Obi-Wan and Wright are powerful, strongly respected and superb leaders in their field.
This role easily goes to Wright in what would be one of the best adaptations of Star Wars in history.
There are still many supporting roles to fill in, and here are some of the more well-known ones:
Jabba the Hutt – Frank Francisco: Both fat and rather useless.
R2-D2 – Daniel Murphy: A bit undersized but very feisty and valuable.
C-3PO – Zack Wheeler: Tall and skinny. Very tall and skinny.
Ewoks – Travis d’Arnaud: Both pretty short and pudgy, and d’Arnaud is scrappy enough.
Emperor Palpatine – Ike Davis: Davis is soft-spoken, but I feel like he would have a powerful presence in front of the camera.