Frankie’s News can today exclusively reveal that the well-known Scottish tennis player, Andy Murray, has promised to wear a kilt if he makes it to the final of one of the remaining Grand Slams this year. He has confirmed that he will wear the kilt whilst playing in the finals should he make it thus far.
The kilt, for those readers who are unaware, is a traditional Scottish garment. It resembles a skirt but is worn by men rather than women.
Kilts are usually knee-length, made of wool and have a tartan pattern. Many Scottish men like to wear their kilt without any underwear as they believe that this is the mark of a “true Scotsman”.
It would seem that Andy Murray fits into the “true Scotsman” category. He told Frankie’s News:
“Of course I’ll be wearing it in the traditional manner. I’d be ignoring tradition if I didn’t.”
Pressed on why he has chosen this point in his career to wear a kilt, Andy responded, “Actually, I can’t believe I didn’t think of this earlier on. Perhaps if I had worn a kilt in Indian Wells I would have won that final match against Rafa. The gusts of wind were really strong that day, if you get what I’m saying. And that may have helped put Rafa off a little bit.”
Frankie’s News asked some of the other tennis players on the tour what they think of this move from Murray. Here are some of the responses we got:
Rafael Nadal: “What is dis keelt? It is like dee skirt, no? Why Andy wanna wear dis? I no comprendo. What is dee ‘commando’? I go now. Tankyouverymuch.”
Roger Federer: (Angrily) “Look…I’ve already told you…I’ve had like 20 coaches in the last…oh, what was that? You’re not asking me the coach question again…ok. Look, I really have to go. The wife will be wondering where I am, you know.”
Novak Djokovic: “At least that’ll take some of the heat off me for a while. But I must say how much Andy has improved these last couple of months, I’m really impressed. We’ve had some close matches, but the guy has really come along…”(Novak carries on gushing about how much Andy has improved his tennis but we at Frankie's News know he is secretly wetting his pants about losing his No.3 ranking to Murray very soon.)
Andy Roddick: “Look, I’m not gonna comment. Probably just get myself into trouble again. Don’t want people to take things the wrong way, you know what I mean? All I’ll say is, dude, why?”
Serena Williams: “Ok then...Isn’t he the guy that my sis "played" with in Miami?”
Caroline Wozniacki: “I’d personally prefer to see either my little Fernandino or Rafa wear one (laughs).” (Interestingly, this response was given by the majority of female tennis players we asked.)
Tell us what you think by voting in today’s poll.
Footnote: Readers will be pleased to hear that the former world No. 1 tennis player, Roger Federer, has finally been released after being held hostage by Andy Roddick in an unknown location for six days. Roddick is reported to have told some members of the press, “I just couldn’t be bothered to keep going out and fetching him Swiss chocolate. It all got too much.”
For full details of the kidnapping of Federer, please refer to the archives of Frankie’s News.