There is nothing better than sitting around watching the game with your buddies, having a cold one and talking sports. If you want to be the guy in your circle that has the funniest sport takes then you will like what is about to follow.
The Cleveland Browns have an orange helmet.
The New York City area has eight major sports teams: the Yankees and Mets in baseball, the Giants and Jets in football, The Knicks and Nets in basketball and the Rangers and Islanders in hockey.
The Yankees, Giants, Knicks, and Rangers are thought of as the higher end of those teams. So three of the four supposedly lower class New York area teams rhyme (Mets, Nets and Jets). The Mets are seen as second class because they are an expansion team. The Jets are seen as second class because they are from the AFL.
The Nets are seen as second class because they are in New Jersey, er, because they are from the ABA. I am not sure why the Islanders are seen as second class since they have more titles in the last fifty years than the Rangers. Madison Square Garden must hold a lot of sway.
The old AFC Central Division in the NFL had the Browns, the Steelers, the Bengals and the Oilers. It might have had the most hated rivalries in the NFL.
One game the Bengals were up 58-7 and they called a timeout late in the fourth quarter to tack on one last field goal. Sam Wyche coached the Bengals back then and he had the all time greatest in game quote one snowy game in Cincinnati:
"Will the next person who sees someone throw a snow ball onto the field point 'em and get 'em out of here. You don't live in Cleveland, you live in Cincinnati."
As a Cleveland fan I respect his honesty and I'm also glad he didn't bring up our river catching on fire in his tirade.
Oh yeah, rivers catch on fire all of the time.
There is no more Houston Oilers yet the Browns became two teams and the AFC North is still full of heated rivalries with the Browns, Steelers and Bengals being joined by the Baltimore Ravens.
If you see one of your buddies getting all of the laughs, try some of the great sport quotes.
One of my favorite quotes was from Damon Jones, a guard for the Cleveland Cavaliers basketball team. He sat on the bench for an entire playoff game that went into overtime against the Washington Wizards.
In the overtime, he finally got in and made a three-point shot that won the game. After the game, the reporter asked how it felt to get into the game at the very end only to be the one to win the game.
"It's all about the opportunities."
Patrick Ewing had my other favorite basketball quote when he was representing the players in the 1998 work stoppage. The discussion on topic was pointed at the salaries the players were making and Patrick spouted sheer brilliance:
"We make a lot of money but we spend a lot of money."
Yogi Berra is the quote machine still in baseball:
"It's not over 'til it's over."
"It's like deja vu all over again."
"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours."
Here's a dry witted one from Dick Butkus:
"When I played pro football, I never set out to hurt anyone deliberately - unless it was, you know, important, like a league game or something."
If you are getting no laughs during a hockey discussion, I can't help you too much there. Perhaps you can quote Happy Gilmore.
Slapstick was another good hockey movie.