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Plaxico Burress and Adam Jones to Host Cruise Through Troubled Waters (Humor)

PERTH - OCTOBER 13:  Greg Norman's Aussie Rules, the biggest aluminium private luxury yacht in history is tied up at the Oceanfast boat shed in  Perth, Australia on October 13, 2002. The 69.5 metre yacht was built in Western Australia for between $60 and $80 million. The yacht is the first in the Norman Expedition Yacht series built at the Oceanfast shipyards in Henderson, south of Perth. (Photo by Tony McDonough/Getty Images)
Bleacher ReportAnalyst IApril 14, 2009

Get yer sailor caps out, mateys because it's time for the First Annual Indian Ocean Cruise For Troubled NFL Players  which will be hosted this year by former New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress former Dallas Cowboys and Tennessee Titans defensive back Adam "Pacman" Jones.

The ship, which will be rented by the group, will take a route through waters frequented by Somali pirates that were recently in the news for capturing the American captain of Maersk Alabama and holding him hostage for three days.

Despite this, the players do not seem worried, even though the U.S. Navy has notified that no United States vessel will come to their aid if in fact, they are boarded or waylaid in any way by the pirates.

"I'm gonna bring some of my bodyguards and I heard that Plaxico is gonna bring along that gun that he has," "Pacman" Jones said.

There was, however, an altercation involving the trip before the posters for the event were even mailed out. According to print shop officials, the Poster Press Print Shop had to phone local police after Jones started yelling and throwing equipment around after he saw that the poster had his name listed as Adam "Pacman" Jones instead of just Adam Jones.

"I got angry, I admit it, but that's my name, Pacman ain't my name, Adam is and those people, they just got to realize that," the former defensive back said. "If my Mama would've wanted me called Pacman, than she would have named me Pacman and left it at that."

Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Jones, pardon me, Chad Ocho Cinco doesn't agree with Jones.  In fact, Ocho Cinco got angry with Jones after he found out that his name was listed as Chad Jones rather than Chad Ocho Cinco on the posters.

On the cruise, Ocho Cinco plans to teach 101 Ways To Cause Problems For Your Team. Buffalo Bills wide receiver, Terrell Owens, doesn't, however, plan to be outdone by Ocho Cinco. He is planning on teaching 102 Ways To Get The Ball Thrown Your Way, which already has a waiting list containing tight ends, receivers, halfbacks, as well as a few defensive backs.

The list of featured speakers only includes two quarterbacks, Vince Young and Tony Romo. Young, of the Tennessee Titans plans to speak on dealing with post-game depression, while Romo, of the Dallas Cowboys, plans to speak about how to get a celebrity girlfriend and how to keep her no matter what happens.

Only one speaker on the cruise hasn't been or isn't an NFL player. Former San Francisco Giants slugger Barry Bonds will be speaking about the pros and cons of steroids and the pros and cons of having your trainer inject you. The attendance total of that seminar will not be released to the media following the event according to organizers.

The cruise is nearly sold out and Burress expects it be a success. "Since I'm not playing football with anyone this year, as of yet, I need some money, what better way than to host a cruise?" Burress asked.

In unrelated news, NFL referee Ed Hochuli was recently spotted as the Sports Referee's College attending a seminar entitled How To Make The Calls To Give Your Team A "W".On his head, Hochuli sported a Denver Broncos hat along with a Broncos jersey.

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