Handing out the Hardware of Badness

Goosen's GeeseCorrespondent IMarch 31, 2008

How easy is it to write about who you think will win the post season awards when every hockey analyst and their mother is doing the same thing and it almost seems like a forgone conclusion on who will win what?  Alexander Ovechkin for MVP?  Please don't go out on a limb or anything.  Nicklas Lidstrom to win another Norris Trophy?  Wow, that's a gutsy call there.

What does require some knowledge is handing out the hardware for those who epitomized mediocrity to just plain awful at their position and seemed to stick around all season to showcase their lack of skill and, quite frankly, this is more fun anyway.

The "Iron" Mike Keenan Award (Coach That Runs His Team into the Ground)

Easy one here, John Tortorella (Tampa Bay).  This team won the Stanley Cup three seasons ago.  Minus Nikolai Khabibulin and some role players, this was just about the same team.  He overplays Lecavalier and St. Louis every night and hold his players back as we saw with Brad Richards after he had left Tampa.

The Sean Pronger Award (No Norris Trophy wins here but my brother...)

Magnus Johansson (Florida).  This guy is absolutely atrocious on defense.  No goals and 12 points while averaging 15 1/2 minutes of ice time per game.  He's a minus-four which isn't all that bad but in 44 games he has 25 giveaways and that is terrible.  He waited 14 years to come over from Sweden and if any team were smart, they'd send him back.

The Alexander Daigle Award (Wasn't I supposed to be good?)

Marcel Goc (San Jose).  51 games, five goals, three assists, minus-15, 12 penalty minutes.  Not good for anyone, let alone someone who was supposed to be on one of the top two lines for the Sharks.  Over the course of the season he went from averaging 14 minutes to just over 6 minutes per game now.  So much for the high expectations for the former first round pick.

The Jim Carey Award (Not the Actor but the Goalie.. Yeah.. That Guy)

Olaf Kolzig (Washington).  I'm sorry for picking on the Southeast Division but there are a lot of bad players in this division and I never even got to Atlanta.  Washington is still hanging around the playoff race despite him.  Imagine if Cristobal Huet was the goalie for this team all season.

The Chris Simon Award (Biggest Overall Disgrace to the Game)

Chris Simon (Minnesota).  As long as this idiot is playing hockey, he will win this award.

Chris, please retire and go away forever.  You are an insult to anyone who has ever played in the NHL or any level of hockey for that matter.

Thanks folks and I hope you have been enlightened on who has been absolutely terrible this season.