Sports ListsDownload App

The 100 Dumbest Things Ever Said in Sports

Dan CarsonTrending Lead WriterJanuary 13, 2017

The 100 Dumbest Things Ever Said in Sports

1 of 101

    Your jaw flops. Your eyes widen. Your hand slaps reflexively onto your forehead.

    You just heard someone say something very, very dumb.  

    But hey, a little slip of the tongue happens to the best of us. And unlike people in the mic’d up world of sports, we can at least log onto the Internet without seeing our gaffes thrown on a hulking 100-slide feast of face-palm moments.

    Sports figures, however, have every misguided word they've ever said recorded, carbon copied and seared into the web for all to see. 

    And in keeping with that time-honored tradition, the following is a countdown of the 100 dumbest—and funniest, in some cases—things ever uttered in the world of sports. They're everything from innocent slip-ups to intensely misguided musings on paleontology.

    And trust me—they don't all deserve the benefit of the doubt.

100. Metta World Tweets

2 of 101

    “Happy labor day... Enjoy it.”

    -- Tweeted by Lakers small forward Metta World Peace on Memorial Day, 2012.

99. In the MLB Poorhouse

3 of 101

    “People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don’t realize that most of us only make $500,000.”

    -- Pete Incaviglia, former Texas Rangers outfielder on why baseball players aren’t overpaid.

98. Professional Athlete Problems

4 of 101

    “That’s part of the challenge of being a professional athlete.”

    -- Former Houston Rockets backup center John Amaechi on not receiving a single minute of playing time during the season.

97. Lee Corso on Hawaii

5 of 101

    “Hawaii doesn’t win many games in the United States.” 

    -- ESPN analyst Lee Corso on the University of Hawaii’s poor record against teams in mainland America.

96. A-Rod Needs Therapy

6 of 101

    “Therapy can be a good thing; it can be therapeutic.”

    -- Alex Rodriguez, New York Yankees third baseman.

95. Dizzy Dean Thought It Was Pretty Close

7 of 101

    “The game was closer than the score indicated.”

    -- MLB Hall of Fame pitcher Dizzy Dean after a 1-0 game.

94. Ron Atkinson Explains It All

8 of 101

    “Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.”

    -- Ron Atkinson, former soccer player and television pundit 

93. Dick Vitale Says a Dick Vitale Thing

9 of 101

    “I’m tellin’ ya man, to be able to stroke it like that must be some kind of feeling.”

    -- Dick Vitale on J.J. Redick’s three-point shooting.  

92. Steve Largent Will Sincerely Miss Ringo

10 of 101

    Seattle Seahawks wide receiver Steve Largent explained which of his records he’ll cherish the most after retiring from football:

    “Probably the Beatles’ White Album.”

91. Ryan Lochte’s Workout Secrets

11 of 101

    “I think that’s my biggest key in my workout... with swimming and weights... is like my weight room." 

    -- Ryan Lochte, Olympic swimmer and weight room appreciator.

90. Harry Caray and the Mexican Sun

12 of 101

    “Aw, how could he lose the ball in the sun? He’s from Mexico.” 

    -- Former Cubs announcer Harry Caray on Jorge Orta losing track of a fly ball.

89. Maurice Clarett Is Too Humble

13 of 101

    “It’s humbling being humble.”

    -- Maurice Clarett, former Denver Broncos running back.

88. Mike Tyson’s Personal Diagnosis

14 of 101

    “That’s all they said was wrong with me?”

    -- Former heavyweight champ Mike Tyson responding to questions about him suffering from depression, low self-esteem and problems with anger management.

87. Caldwell Jones Loves Seafood Desserts

15 of 101

    “Saltwater taffy.”

    -- Former NBA big man Caldwell Jones on his favorite seafood.

86. Backup Quarterback Wisdom

16 of 101

    “Why should we have to go to class if we came here to play FOOTBALL, we ain’t come to play SCHOOL, classes are POINTLESS.” 

    -- Tweet sent out by Ohio State backup quarterback Cardale Jones.

85. Dennis Rodman, Master Chemist

17 of 101

    “Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10 or something.”

    -- Dennis Rodman explaining team chemistry

84. Yogi Berra on the Weather

18 of 101

    “It ain’t the heat. It’s the humility.”

    -- Yankee legend Yogi Berra

83. Roberto Kelly Doesn’t Understand Permanence

19 of 101

    “It’s permanent, for now.”

    -- Former MLB outfielder Roberto Kelly on whether or not he would change his nickname “Bobby” in the future. 

82. Jerry Coleman and the Safest Out

20 of 101

    “They throw [Dave] Winfield out at second—and he’s safe.”

    -- San Diego Padres broadcaster Jerry Coleman

81. Mets Pitcher Has a Metaphysical Mind Fart

21 of 101

    “That picture was taken out of context.”

    -- New York Mets pitcher Jeff Innis on a photo of him that he believed made him look goofy.

80. Brandon Spikes Makes It Snow for Santa

22 of 101

    “We’re leaving a big fat rail of coke and a shot of Jack for Santa this year... cookies and milk will just slow him down. #SimpleTruth”

    -- Tweet by Patriots linebacker Brandon Spikes this past holiday season.

79. Gene Stallings’ Biggest Weakness

23 of 101

    “I guess that makes our biggest weakness lack of strength.”

    -- Gene Stallings, Texas A&M football coach after hearing TCU head coach Abe Martin claim his team’s biggest strength is its lack of weakness.

78. Mario Balotelli—The Artless Dodger

24 of 101

    “I believe I am more intelligent than the average person. There are few people with such talent, so there are few able to judge what I am doing.”

    -- Italian footballer Mario Balotelli on his past antics involving dart-throwing at youth league players and sneaking into a women’s prison.

77. Lou Duva Is No Socrates

25 of 101

    “You can sum up this sport in two words: You never know.”

    -- Boxing trainer Lou Duva.

76. MLB Rookie Drops the Ball

26 of 101

    After being asked what he had gotten out of his rookie season in the league, former MLB outfielder Hensley Meulens replied:

    “Oh, $120,000.”

75. Olympian on Why Showboating Cost Her Gold Medal

27 of 101

    “I just got caught up in the moment, and, oh well.”

    -- U.S. snowboarder Lindsey Jacobellis to NBC’s Bob Costas. Jacobellis had just lost the 2006 gold medal for snowboardcross after botching a trick and falling down yards from the finish line.

74. Jerry Rice Tries to Show Humility

28 of 101

    “I feel like I’m the best, but you’re not going to get me to say that.”

    -- NFL legend Jerry Rice

73. Rob Gronkowski Is Party

29 of 101

    “Yo soy fiesta!”

    -- Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski in response to an ESPN Deportes reporter’s questions about how he plans to celebrate a win over the Baltimore Ravens.

72. Jose Canseco—No Longer in Right Field

30 of 101

    “They always put the smart guys out in right field. That’s where I used to play.”

    -- Former MLB slugger Jose Canseco

71. Alex Rodriguez Feels Dominican

31 of 101

    “I feel very Dominican.”

    -- Alex Rodriguez on which nation he would play for in the first World Baseball Classic.

70. RMF—Randy Moss Financial (LLC)

32 of 101

    “When you’re rich you don’t write checks... straight cash, homey.”

    -- Randy Moss when asked how he’ll pay an NFL fine for unsportsmanlike celebration.

69. Jerome James Is Selflessly Selfish

33 of 101

    Former Seattle SuperSonics center Jerome James explained his personal views on coach Nate McMillan calling him selfish with this little ditty:

    “I don’t have the first clue who he is talking about, because all I worry about is Jerome.”

68. Jerry Coleman and the Tale of Two Ex-Teammates

34 of 101

    “Gaylord Perry and Willie McCovey should know each other like a book. They’ve been ex-teammates for years now.”

    -- Jerry Coleman, San Diego Padres broadcaster 

67. Bill Cowher—Orchestral Savant

35 of 101

    “It was no Mozart.”

    -- Bill Cowher after a tough victory on the gridiron. 

66. Lou Holtz Brings the Wood

36 of 101

    “It may not impress you, but Holtz means ‘hard wood.’”  

    -- Former college football coach and television analyst Lou Holtz.

65. Soccer Manager Botches the Numbers

37 of 101

    “We must have had 99 percent of the match. It was the other three percent that cost us.”

    -- Dutch soccer manager Ruud Gullit

64. Shaq Strikes Back

38 of 101

    “Sam is an idiot—I-D-O-U-T—idiot.”

    -- Shaquille O’Neal on Chicago Tribune writer Sam Smith, who wrote an article suggesting the Miami Heat rid themselves of "The Big Aristotle."

63. Terrell Owens’ Teammate Issues

39 of 101

    “Don’t say I don’t get along with my teammates. I just don’t get along with some of the guys on my team.”

    -- Former NFL wide receiver Terrell Owens

62. Don King’s Interesting Sense of Time

40 of 101

    “He’s the Man of the Hour, at this particular moment.” 

    -- Boxing promoter Don King

61. Rocky Bridges—Not a Slow Eater

41 of 101

    Former San Francisco Giants coach Rocky Bridges was asked why he refused to eat snails, to which he responded

    “I prefer fast food.”

60. Lawrence Taylor Is More of a Poet

42 of 101

    “It’s going to be about me.”

    -- Former NFL great Lawrence Taylor describing the autobiography he planned to write.

59. John Kruk Lays It Out There

43 of 101

    “I’m not an athlete. I’m a professional baseball player.”

    -- Former MLB first baseman and television analyst John Kruk

58. Andre Agassi—Scratching Away

44 of 101

    “I’ve only scratched the iceberg.”

    -- Tennis great Andre Agassi assessing his talent ceiling in 1990.

57. Anna Kournikova Is a Private Person

45 of 101

    After being asked about her love life during a promotional event for a line of undergarments she endorses, former tennis star Anna Kournikova had this to say:

    “I’m not here to talk about my personal life. I’m here to talk about bras.” 

56. Lenny Dykstra Gets Ahead of Himself

46 of 101

    After hearing an unproductive member of the team had been traded away, Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Lenny Dykstra reacted with:

    “Great trade! Who did we get?”

55. Darrel Chaney’s Lofty Lavatory

47 of 101

    “Raise the urinals.” 

    -- Former backup shortstop Darrel Chaney’s advice on how the front office can keep the Braves on their toes

54. Scottie Pippen Places Foot Firmly in His Mouth

48 of 101

    “Michael Jordan is probably the greatest scorer to ever play in the game. But I may go so far to say LeBron James may be the greatest player to ever play the game.”

    -- Scottie Pippen

53. The Point Eludes Tim McCarver

49 of 101

    “Yankees pitchers have had great success against Cabrera when they get him out.”

    -- Former MLB catcher and current sportscaster Tim McCarver

52. Cadillac Williams—Not a Military Man

50 of 101

    “He might’ve won the war, but the battle’s not over.”

    -- NFL running back Cadillac Williams on getting picked later in 2005 draft than his Auburn teammate Ronnie Brown.

51. Joe Theismann’s Thoughts on Geniuses

51 of 101

    “The word genius isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”

    -- Former Washington Redskins quarterback Joe Theisman

    Note: After making this “genius” quote, Theismann later claimed he was referring to a buddy from high school. You know, that Norman guy we all know about.

50. Yogi Berra Breaks Down the Game of Baseball

52 of 101

    “Ninety percent of this game is half mental.”

    -- Yankess legend Yogi Berra

49. Chuck Lamar Quibbles over the Little Things

53 of 101

    “The only thing that keeps this organization from being recognized as one of the finest in baseball is wins and losses at the major league level."

    -- Chuck Lamar, former Tampa Bay Devil Rays manager

48. Who Is Ryan Lochte?

54 of 101

    “What defines me? ...Ryan Lochte.”

    -- Ryan Lochte, Olympic swimmer and horrendous interviewee

47. Chad Johnson’s 51-State Odyssey

55 of 101

    “I’m traveling to all 51 states to see who can stop 85.”

    -- Former NFL wide receiver Chad Johnson

46. Tracy McGrady—Not Geometrically Inclined

56 of 101

    “My career was sputtering until I did a 360 and got headed in the right direction.”

    -- Former Orlando Magic star Tracy McGrady

45. Neither Is Jason Kidd

57 of 101

    “We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.”

    -- New York Knicks guard Jason Kidd after being drafted by the Dallas Mavericks.

44. Lou Whitaker—No More Taxi Cabs for Your Boy

58 of 101

    I’m rich. What am I supposed to do? Hide it?”

    -- Former Detroit Tigers second baseman Lou Whitaker, after showing up to a players’ union meeting in a stretch limousine.

43. Mickey Rivers Makes the Best of It

59 of 101

    “We’ll do all right if we can capitalize on our mistakes.”

    -- Mickey Rivers, former MLB designated hitter

42. Pedro Guerrero Is Misunderstood

60 of 101

    “Sometimes they write what I say, not what I mean.”

    -- Pedro Guerrero, former MLB baseball player

41. Kellen Winslow—Not a Soldier

61 of 101

    “It’s war. They’re out there to kill you, so I’m out there to kill them. We don’t care about nobody but this U... I’m a soldier!”

    -- University of Miami tight end Kellen Winslow after a loss to Tennessee in 2003

40. Karl Malone Mixes Words Up

62 of 101

    “I ain’t gonna be no escape-goat!”

    -- NBA Hall of Famer Karl Malone

39. Tim McCarver Sets All of Humanity Back Years

63 of 101

    Sportscaster Tim McCarver on increased home run rates in the MLB:

    “It has not been proven, but I think it will be proven that the air is thinner now, there have been climactic changes over the last 50 years in the world, and I think that’s one of the reasons balls are carrying much better now than I remember.”

38. Brad Miller Has a Warped View of the Good Times

64 of 101

    “It’s not going to be peaches and gravy all the time.” 

    -- Former Indiana Pacers center Brad Miller showcasing an interesting palate when he described the team’s struggles to reporters

37. Shelby Metcalf Shares Academic Advice

65 of 101

    “Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.”

    -- Former Texas A&M basketball coach Shelby Metcalf explaining what he told one of his players who received four F’s and one D on his report card.

36. The Antoine Walker Scoring System

66 of 101

    “Because there are no fours.”

    -- Former NBA power forward Antoine Walker on why he shoots so many three-pointers.

35. Tug McGraw Is Smoking Something

67 of 101

    “I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf."

    -- Former Philly Tug McGraw on whether he preferred grass or Astroturf.

34. Magic Johnson’s Less-Than Magic Moment

68 of 101

    “It’s almost like we have ESPN or something.”

    -- Lakers great Magic Johnson on how he and teammate James Worthy always work so well together on the basketball court. 

33. Shelby Metcalf on Defense

69 of 101

    “Rice defends against the free throw as well as anybody I’ve seen.”

    -- Former Texas A&M basketball coach Shelby Metcalf

32. Latrell Sprewell Doesn’t Want to Go Hungry

70 of 101

    “I’ve got my family to feed.”

    -- Former NBA swingman Latrell Sprewell on why he wanted to sign a contract extension or be traded after making $14.6 million during the 2004-05 season.

31. Yogi Berra’s Postmortem Surprise

71 of 101

    "Surprise me.”

    -- Yankees legend Yogi Berra on where his wife should bury him.

    Note: Yogi Berra either had the driest Oscar Wilde wit or was just in another room and assumed his wife was talking about where they were going for lunch.

30. Stevie Johnson Tweets God

72 of 101

    "I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!!!!! AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME!!!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS??? HOW???!!! ILL NEVER FORGET THIS!! EVER!!! THX THO..."

    -- Buffalo Bills wide receiver Stevie Johnson tweeted this message, presumably to the creator of the universe, after dropping a game-winning catch in 2010.

29. Terry Bradshaw Makes a Valid Point

73 of 101

    “I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid.”

    -- Former NFL great and current NFL analyst Terry Bradshaw.

28. What a Real Man Looks Like

74 of 101

    “He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.”

    -- Former University of Houston wide receiver Torrin Polk on former coach John Jenkins

27. Rickey Henderson—One-Percenter

75 of 101

    Former MLB outfielder and base-stealing extraordinaire Rickey Henderson on a writer’s claim that 50 percent of major league baseball players use steroids:

    “Well, I’m not one of them. So that’s 49 percent right there."

26. Drew Gooden Overcame an Old, Old Wooden Ship

76 of 101

    “I’ve had to overcome a lot of diversity.”

    -- Drew Gooden, Milwaukee Bucks forward-center

25. Billy Got Fingered

77 of 101

    “I’m very appreciative of being indicted.”

    -- Former Florida State football coach Bill Peterson on being inducted into the Florida Hall of Fame.

24. Mike Greenwell and the Family Trucks

78 of 101

    “I’m a four-wheel-drive pickup type of guy, and so is my wife.” 

    -- Former Red Sox outfielder Mike Greenwell

    What he probably meant: “I’m man enough to admit my wife likes mudding trucks and that I don’t always get to be the big spoon.”

23. Tim McCarver—Clearly on Autopilot

79 of 101

    When San Francisco Giants fans began chanting “Barry! Barry! Barry!” for Giants pitcher Barry Zito in Game 1 of the 2012 World series, broadcaster Joe Buck set up fellow sportscaster Tim McCarver for an easy home run:

    “They used to say [Barry] for somebody else around here,” said Buck.

    “When Barry Manilow was playing in a concert,” replied McCarver.

    “Or Barry Bonds,” said Buck, incredulous.

22. Dan Osinski Can’t Eat All That Pizza

80 of 101

    Better make it six. I can’t eat eight.”

    -- Former MLB pitcher Dan Osinski after a waitress asked him if he wanted his pizza cut into six slices or eight. 

21. Metta World Teeth

81 of 101

    “I’m just happy that Jesus Christ did not let me lose my teeth when I was 20-years-old.” 

    -- Lakers small forward Metta World Peace when asked how his teammates were reacting to his name change.

20. George Rogers Isn’t in a Rush

82 of 101

    “I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards—whichever comes first.” 

    -- South Carolina Heisman Trophy winner George Rogers

19. Bobby Robson’s Miscalculated Miscalculation

83 of 101

    “We didn’t underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought.”

    -- Former English football manager Bobby Robson, on narrowly surviving a game against Cameroon in the 1990 World Cup.

18. Tito Fuentes Loses Count, Fatherly Accountability

84 of 101

    “They shouldn’t throw at me. I’m the father of five or six kids.”

    -- Former MLB player Tito Fuentes on getting hit by pitches. 

17. Jerry Coleman—Doesn't Do Numbers

85 of 101

    "There someone warming up in the bullpen, but he's obscured by his number."

    -- Jerry Coleman, San Diego Padres broadcaster

16. Lou Duva—Timing Is Everything

86 of 101

    “He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.”

    -- Lou Duva on the rigorous training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota.

15. Jared Allen Catches Case of the Schisms

87 of 101

    “I don’t think anyone on this team knows what ‘schism’ is, let alone could use it in a sentence. I thought it was an STD when I first heard it and was like ‘whoa, we preach abstinence in these parts.’”

    -- Vikings defensive end Jared Allen said this about the possibility of a hostile “schism” growing in the locker room between teammates.

14. Greg Norman's Unique Family Dynamics

88 of 101

    “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.”

    -- Professional golfer Greg Norman

13. Ron Meyer—Not a Licensed Prophet

89 of 101

    “It isn’t like I came down from Mount Sinai with the tabloids.” 

    -- Former Indianapolis Colts head coach Ron Meyer, on whether or not he made the right decision by starting rookie quarterback Jeff George. 

12. Charles Shackleford—Lord of the Frogs

90 of 101

    “I can shoot with my left hand, I can shoot with my right hand. I’m amphibious.”

    -- Charles Shackleford, former NBA forward 

11. Bobby Hurley Should Stick to Basketball

91 of 101

    Brother Ray Page, a teacher at St. Anthony High School in Jersey City, N.J., claims he once had to explain a geographical conundrum to his student, Bobby Hurley, who would go on to play for the Sacramento Kings: 

    “[Bobby Hurley] once asked me if Beirut was named after that famous baseball player who hit home runs.” 

10. Dennis Rodman’s Thoughts on American Prison Camps

92 of 101

    “We do the same things here.”

    -- Former Chicago Bulls star Dennis Rodman on North Korean dictator Kim Jung Un using prison camps to punish alleged criminals. 

9. Chuck Nevitt Just Watched Mrs. Doubtfire

93 of 101

    “My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an aunt or an uncle.”

    -- NC State basketball player Chuck Nevitt explaining to his coach why he appeared nervous during practice.

8. Rashard Mendenhall Likens NFL to Slavery

94 of 101

    “Anyone with knowledge of the slave trade and the NFL could say that these two parallel each other.” 

    -- Pittsburgh Steelers running back Rashard Mendenhall tweeted this nugget of historical wisdom in 2011. 

7. Andre Dawson Wants to Rear Your Children

95 of 101

    “I want all the kids to copulate me." 

    -- Chicago Cubs Hall of Famer Andre Dawson on being a role model for children.

6. Mike Tyson Plans to Disappear into South America

96 of 101

    “Fade into Bolivian, I guess.”

    -- Former heavyweight champ Mike Tyson on what he would do after retiring from boxing. 

5. Bill Cowher Doesn't Want to Skin the Rules

97 of 101

    “We’re not attempting to circumcise the rules.”

    -- Former Steelers head coach Bill Cowher 

4. Jose Canseco Explains Gravity, Dinosaurs

98 of 101

    Never one to hold back on the crazy, Jose Canseco unleashed these dinosaur/physics related tweets on his followers earlier this month: 

    “Ancient gravity was much weaker..."

    “Gravity had to be weaker to make dinosaurs nimble.” 

3. Carl Everett Proves Creationism

99 of 101

    “The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs. You can't say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Someone actually saw Adam and Eve. No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus Rex."

    -- Former MLB outfielder Carl Everett

2. Mike Cameron, Amateur Astrologist

100 of 101

    “The sun has been there for 500, 600 years.”

    -- Former MLB outfielder Mike Cameron

1. Shaq—Parthenon VIP

101 of 101

    “I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.” 

    -- Shaquille O’Neal’s response to whether or not he had stopped at the Parthenon while in Greece.

Where can I comment?

Stay on your game

Latest news, insights, and forecasts on your teams across leagues.

Choose Teams
Get it on the App StoreGet it on Google Play

Real-time news for your teams right on your mobile device.

Download
Copyright © 2017 Bleacher Report, Inc. Turner Broadcasting System, Inc. All Rights Reserved. BleacherReport.com is part of Bleacher Report – Turner Sports Network, part of the Turner Sports and Entertainment Network. Certain photos copyright © 2017 Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Getty Images is strictly prohibited. AdChoices