WWE Raw Results and Analysis: CM Punk, The Rock, John Cena

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WWE Raw Results and Analysis: CM Punk, The Rock, John Cena
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After a quick recap package of Elimination Chamber's lukewarm results, we start things off with the man who LOST his match last night (I savor writing that whenever it happens to be true), John Cena!

 

John Cena opening speech

John Boy lets us know that we’re on the road to WrestleMania. How insightful. 

Cena shows Alberto some love by mentioning that the World Championship will be defended at WM. Cena failed to mention that it will likely happen in the curtain-jerker spot.

My man CM Punk interrupts, and he looks mean in his hoodie and starry underwear as has become the norm.

Cena says Cena is making the obvious and easy choice by electing to face The Rock at WM.

Punk admits that The Rock pinned him fair and square last night (if we ignore the long referee-less pin he had on Rocky).

Punk points out that when it comes to wins and losses, Cena doesn’t compare to him. Punk is conveniently ignoring all those times Cena destroyed him prior to Punk’s infamous worked shoot during the summer of 2011.

Essentially, Punk is asking Cena to walk away from his spot in the main event at WM, and indeed, out of Punk’s life completely.

Cena teases that he might do so, but clearly (and sadly) isn’t going anywhere.

This seems to be leading to a Punk vs. Cena match. Hopefully, it allows Punk to squeeze into his first real WM main event. It’s more likely that Cena will simply flatten him, making Cena look strong (as if that’s necessary) prior to Cena vs. The Rock II.

Cena pitches that he and Punk settle it “right here, right now.” I hate it when Cena raises his voice. The kids get excited; I get Advil.

Punk won't do it here. Punk’s calm, collected, “on my terms” tone is so soothing compared to that of the angry, muscle-bound teenager with whom he’s once again feuding.

Cena vs. Punk is booked for next week’s Raw. The live audience is obviously thrilled.

 

Next up

Mark Henry wrecks some poor bloke with the World’s Strongest Slam. Hopefully, we get some clue as to who is going to step up to challenge Henry’s dominance heading into WM, but I doubt it. I suspect Henry will crush a bunch of Superstars-turned-cans for the next couple weeks instead.

We get an inspirational quote from Thomas Jefferson because it’s Presidents’ Day. Oddly, this puts me in the mood for a risqué pro-America, anti-immigration promo from Swagger and Colter later.

Backstage, Sheamus and Ryback get up in each other’s grills for losing to the Shield. Chris Jericho cools them off and says he’s up for helping them out in a match vs. the Shield.

Jericho slaps both men’s breasts fairly hard before exiting. Part of me hoped it would be Jericho vs. Ziggler for the World Championship at WM, but I’m happy to watch Jericho to do most anything.

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