I know, I know. You guys have probably read hundreds of the mostly negative reviews about the 25th anniversary of Wrestlemania by now. I was without a computer all day on the Monday after, my ranting and raving comes a little late.
So please, bare with me, and I apologize in advance for any redundancy this article may contain, as I suspect everything I am going to say has been said one way or another already. It doesn't mean that the words and feelings that are bursting out of me aren't going to find their way on to these pages.
Let's get to it...
MiTB Ladder Match
If not for Shelton Benjamin, and a couple of nice spots by Kofi Kingston, this match would have been a total dud. Shelton does some spectacular things, and I was for sure expecting him to win.
My second choice would have been Christian, who I felt was hardly even in the match. Please, get Mark Henry and Kane away from any ladder matches, it is not their strong suit, definitely not for the biggest night in the company's history.
Why they made CM Punk win for a second year in a row is beyond me. Maybe just for the shock factor?
Because WWE knew none of us thought they'd make someone win that match two years in a row? Bad call, especially because his first run with the briefcase was nothing special.
This was the worst of the MiTB ladder matches of all the Wrestlemania's so far in my opinion, and what a time to do it. At the most hyped PPV of all time.
The match was also too short, as I ran to the bathroom thinking I had probably 10 minutes of match left, I came back, and it was over. How incredible would a MiTB match have been with say, Christian, Punk, Benjamin, Brian Kendrick, Mr. Kennedy, Jack Swagger, Kingston, and Chavo Guerrero?
Overall Grade: C
Rey Mysterio vs. JBL
Do I even need to get into this one? Rey Mysterio is one of thee most exciting performers in the company, and yes, while it's cool that he got the IC title (from a guy who was retiring anyway) you need to let that man do what he does best, and that's perform for more than 21 seconds! As bad as JBL (Jelly Belly Loser, that sign was classic) has become, Rey would have made the match good.
IC title matches are usually classics, anyone remember Steamboat/Savage, Warrior/Rude, Michaels/Ramon?! The shock/humor value of Rey beating the much bigger JBL, who was predicting the most decisive decision in Wrestlemania history, in 21 seconds wasn't big enough to outshine the pathetic match.
Overall Grade: D
Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy
This was one match that I was truly looking forward too. I thought WWE did a great job of building the storyline up, and not letting these two guys touch at all (except for a quick scuffle on Smackdown a few weeks ago).
I was expecting Matt to win and I had no problem with it, realizing they are going to push this feud through Backlash up to Summerslam. I was disappointed.
I think a big mistake was making this an extreme rules match. These guys are incredible wrestlers, and they don't need weapons to wow us.
Too much time was wasted on Jeff searching for weapons under the ring, and I have no interest in seeing trash cans, pipes, crutches, bats, or whatever else they had in there. I wanna see these guys in a fast paced match, going back and forth, flying through the air, performing all kinds of moves on each other, with Jeff Hardy giving us a moment we would never forget.
But that never came. If this was almost anyone else in this match I would have been fine, but the Hardys I feel were capable of so much more. I can only hope the rematch lives up to my expectations.
Overall Grade: B
Divas Battle Royal
This was an absolute waste of time. Santino stood out so much I noticed him (running back and forth aimlessly without touching anyone) within the first minute of the match. What would have been funny was if Beth Phoenix or someone else figured out who he was, pulled off the wig and dress, beat him senseless and threw him out of the ring. There was no reason for him to win the match. This could have been a big spot/push for a diva but instead they tried to make it comedy.
Overall Grade: D
Jericho vs. The Legends
I wasn't too excited for this match to begin with, just for all the nonsense that went back and forth with Mickey Rourke, he's in it, he's not, on and off, until I got sick of hearing about it. They morphed it nicely into the legends storyline, but I really didn't expect too much, knowing that the old legends and a declining Chris Jericho wouldn't exactly be the match of the night.
I was pleasantly surprised by Ricky Steamboat, who, besides some slight flab and a few greys, hasn't seemed to skip a beat. He was phenomenal.
He made the match good. With his deep arm drags and high flying body presses, The Dragon took me right back to 1987.
The Rourke bit at the end was ok, but could have been better in my opinion. It would have been nice to see Flair get some shots in on Y2J.
Is it me, or has Flair seemingly become nothing but a punching bag for Jericho and other youngsters over the past year or so?
Overall Grade: C+
Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker
So what did you expect from Mr. Wrestlemania and the Phenom? This match was the saving grace of an otherwise lackluster 25th anniversary.
These two men know what it's about. That's why they've been around so long.
I really dont need to say much else because everyone who witnessed it knows that these two 40+ year old immortals gave us something we will never forget. My thanks to both of them for sacrificing their bodies and their lives for my entertainment. I love them both.
Overall Grade: A++
John Cena vs. Big Show vs. Edge
This match was pretty much what I thought it would be. I knew Cena would win.
I knew Big Show would slow the pace down to a crawl. I expected a little more from Edge, but hey, he's given us so much at Wrestlemanias over the years, I'll give him a pass.
I will say that Cena getting both of them on his shoulders was quite an impressive sight, but other than that, this could have been any Monday Night Raw main event.
Overall Grade: C+
Triple H vs. Randy Orton
This match was a big disappointment for me. Why did we see an RKO and a Pedigree within the first three minutes of the match?
Why did both men look like they really didn't want to be there? The look on Triple H's face the night Orton RKO'd Stephanie, and then the night he DDT'd and kissed her, I was expecting this man to come out like never before and absolutely destroy his opponent.
Again, this was the equivalent of any Raw or Smackdown main event. I expected a wrestling clinic from two of the company's top workers.
I expected passion and rage and absolute carnage to ensue, but it never did. Where was the blood?
Where was the outside interference? No Legacy?
No McMahons? No Batista?
Are you kidding? Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules at Wrestlemania III evoked more passion and drama.
I could not believe it when the bell rang. That's it?
Maybe I have come to expect too much from HHH who has never disappointed me up to this point. I will say I was very excited and psyched to hear Batista's music hit last night on Raw, but why did that not happen at 'Mania?
Why save it for Monday night Raw? I just don't get it.
Overall Grade: C
What happened to Wrestlemania being a spectacle? Where were the celebrities?
The guest referees and timekeepers, the surprises, the shocks, the grandeur? We had Kid Rock play for about eight minutes, (seven-and-a-half minutes too long if you ask me) and the 90-second Mickey Rourke bit who looked like he wasn't sure where he was the entire time.
No Trish Stratus for the Diva battle royal? No Rock, No Hogan?
Couldn't Austin have gotten involved with the legends match, especially since he was inducted into the Hall of Fame along side Steamboat the night before? No, he road around on a quad and drank some beer in the ring.
Ooooh, I'm getting chills just thinking about it. This was in my opinion the worst Wrestlemania in many years, and believe me guys and gals, I'm not that hard to impress.
There was nothing worth remembering out of this show, the most hyped PPV of all time. It was as if WWE tried to give us a boring show, and only two people wouldn't cooperate: HBK and the Deadman.
Thank God for them.