Parodies: Couldn't I Have Had More Time? (Featuring Alan Shearer)

David JacobsCorrespondent IApril 7, 2009

NEWCASTLE, UNITED KINGDOM - APRIL 04:  Newcastle United Manager Alan Shearer watches the action during the Barclays Premier League match between Newcastle United and Chelsea at St James' Park on April 4, 2009 in Newcastle, England.  (Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images)

Last week, Alan Shearer took the reigns at St. James' Park as manager of his old stomping ground, Newcastle United.

To pull Newcastle up above the relegation zone in just eight (now seven) weeks is a huge ask for a former player who admits himself that he doesn't have much in the way of managerial skills.

Tune
'Hit Me Baby One More Time' by Britney Spears.
Come on, don't be embarrassed! Drink six pints first if you have to.

Oh Geordies, Geordies.
Oh Geordies, Geordies.

Oh Geordies, Geordies,
How was I supposed to know
That I would be appointed?

Oh Geordies, Geordies,
Response to this year was slow.
The league's now out of sight, yeah

Show me how it's done in eight weeks.
Tell me Mikey, 'cause I need to know now
How to cope.

This newfound job has pressured me.
(And I)
I must confess, it's no relief.
(No relief)
This job was not even on my mind.
Why did I sign?
Couldn't I have had more time?

Oh Geordies, Geordies,
I loved playing games for you.
But I've now been blindsided.
Oh Geordies, Geordies,
There's not much that I can do.
There's no way that I planned it.

Show me how it's done in eight weeks.
Tell me Mikey, 'cause I need to know now
How to cope.

This newfound job has pressured me.
(And I)
I must confess, it's no relief.
(No relief)
This job was not even on my mind.
Why did I sign?
Couldn't I have had more time?

Oh Geordies, Geordies.
Oh Geordies, Geordies.

Oh Geordies, Geordies,
How was I supposed to know?

Oh Geordies, Geordies,
Response to this year was slow.

I must confess
This newfound job
Has pressured me now.
Don't you know, it's no relief.
Do you need me here?
Oh why did I sign?
Couldn't I have had more time?

This newfound job has pressured me.
(And I)
I must confess, it's no relief.
(No relief)
This job was not even on my mind.
Why did I sign?
Couldn't I have had more time?

This newfound job has pressured me.                   [[I must confess
(And I)                                                             This newfound job
I must confess, it's no relief.                                Has pressured me now.

(No relief)                                                         Don't you know, it's no relief.
This job was not even on my mind.                       Do you need me here?
Why did I sign?                                                  Oh why did I sign?
Couldn't I have had more time?                            Couldn't I have had more time?]]