“Jim, this is exactly where Connecticut did not wanna be.” Color commentators get paid good money to make insightful comments. This wasn’t one of them.
When #1 seed UConn was down 66 to 56 with five minutes to go in Saturday night’s final four matchup, that’s what we got from CBS.
The voice of wisdom.
I was looking for more of a “Adrien’s outrageous use of elbows in the paint all night long hasn’t paid off for the Huskies” kind of comment.
Or: “The fact that UConn graduates only one third of its hoops players is in no way an indication that the recruiting allegations are going to be substantiated.”
Or maybe: “You can take Thabeet out of Tanzania, but in Detroit he’s just another African getting his ass handed to him.”
Or, my personal can’t-believe-I-didn’t-hear-it favorite: “Thanks, Tracy, for the Chevrolet player and coach of the year halftime presentations. This IS a high def broadcast and they DO have laser surgery available for that mole, I mean beauty mark, removal.”
Ok, maybe it was just filler commentary, the kind CBS needed because somehow they forgot to pan across short-skirted upside down cheerleaders. Obvious filler commentary I’m used to. But missing great perv shots? Get it together CBS.
Is it reaching to say that media was shocked to see MSU make it to the finals? Have the Big East and ACC been so hyped that it was impossible to believe that a Big Ten team could make it?
MSU has been under appreciated. Until now that is.
Maybe it took a little luck. And maybe UNC is favored by 7.5 for good reason. But give MSU credit. They’re not just some underdog made good. They have more final four appearances than any other team in the last ten years. And a national championship to boot.
So as you try to decide which hat to wear for Monday night’s final, consider the following.
UNC colors are baby blue and white, same as Argentina, where the biggest pastime is tango and they think Madonna can act.
MSU colors are green and white. The color of money. Not that anyone’s gambling.
UNC had Jordan. The best basketball player ever. Big deal. Remember his baseball career? Loo. Zer. Even I lettered in two sports in high school. Not that hard.
MSU had Magic. The 2nd best basketball player ever. Maybe. Along with Bird. And Wilt. And Kareem. And Kobe. And Lebron.
More importantly, MSU had David Hasselhoff. Actually, Hasselhoff went to Oakland University, which is a spin-off of MSU. Good enough. Bottom line, by extension, MSU is responsible for the best red and yellow swimsuits ever.
Baywatch is the most watched show in the world for a lot of reasons...Reason #1.
North Carolina’s nickname is the Tar Heels. You owe the idea of sleeping with your cousin and talking like a redneck to them.
Michigan State’s nickname is the Spartans. Ever see 300? You owe your freedom to them.
UNC is in Chapel Hill. I can’t think of anything cool about that. Unless you’re into Baptists. Yes, I’m judging.
MSU is in Lansing. I can’t think of anything cool about that either. Unless you’re into farm animals. Not judging. It gets cold up there.
Lastly, yes, the domestic car biz is based in MI. But Bank of America is based in NC. Three words for you: ATM withdrawal fees.
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