You've All Seen The Future...

DozerCorrespondent IApril 6, 2009

We've all seen Marty McFly fly into the future in the DeLorean in "Back To The Future."

We all hear people talk about what will happen to our planet in the future if we don't take care of it.

People all across the world partake in fantasy sports, where you pick players that you think will do well in the very near future.

Randy Orton formed his Legacy group because he feels that they're the future of professional wrestling.

Nostradamus spent years predicting events that would happen in the far future.

We even have our own glimpse of the future right here on Bleacher Report. What's that, you don't believe me? How can we have the future here in the present, you say?

What a swell question to ask, what a swell question indeed. A swell question deserves a swell answer. Wait, the answer is swell.

"So the question is swell, which in turn deserves a swell answer? That makes sense, I suppose, but what is this swell answer that this 'Dozer' guy keeps talking about?"

There is a writer here in the wrestling community of Bleacher Report who is a very swell writer, but he's in way over his head. He calls himself (are you ready?): "The Future."

Sure, you have to think about the future or else you won't get anywhere in life...but think about this: If you don't look at the present, the here and can you even think about starting to prepare for the future?

It's impossible, you can't do it. Well OK, you can but you'll be asking people if they want fries with their burgers for the rest of your life.

Sure, Barack Obama didn't just wake up one day and decide he wanted to be an Illinois senator, or U.S. President, he had to plan for the future to make it happen. But how do you prepare for the future?

You take care of yourself now, right here, at this point in your life. If you don't go to work right now, you won't have any money for the future.

If you don't watch what you eat and exercise right'll end up being as big as Yokozuna (and don't say that you're training to be a sumo wrestler because Dozer knows that you're lying).

"Okay Dozer, I won't lie to you, I'm sorry I thought about it. You actually make pretty good sense so far, but I'm confused, what are you getting at?"

The point being made here is simple: if you want to be prepared for the future; prepare yourself now. What does that have to do with professional wrestling and swell sports writers?

Forget the future, forget your 401(K) and Wall Street, forget Josh Swell. If you want to know the truth, if you want to see things in another light...look no further than right now.

Josh Swell may be the future, but Dozer is here, Dozer is now. Dozer is here to help all of you, to save you from the average mundane articles that you see on here all the time...Dozer WILL make an Impact!

If you're not ready for the impact, head to the bomb shelters or the North East corner of your basement. Then you should get on your knees, lean forward, tucking your head down, and cover the back of your neck with your hands.

The bottom line is this: you've all seen the future, now prepare yourself for the present. Believe in whatever you consider holy, collect your four leaf  lovers and lucky rabbit's feet, because Dozer is the present, the here and now. Don't be jealous, just consider yourself forewarned.