Chicago Cubs: 25 Ways to Tell If You're a Fan

I have written three articles already in this series of 25 Ways to Tell If You're a ____ Fan. People have enjoyed them, so I decided to start reeling off these lists.

So, Chicago, here is your list!

1. You consider yourself a lovable loser.
2. Your motto is "Maybe next year."
3. You react the same way as Carlos Zambrano when you disagree with a call.
4. You consider Miller Park "Wrigley North."
5. You were on-hand at "Wrigley North" to see Zambrano's no-hitter.
6. You blame Steve Bartman for the Cubs choke in 2003 even though you admit Moises Alou wouldn't have caught the ball anyway.
7. You expect three would-be home runs to be kept in the ball park per game because of the wind.
8. You are part of "The Riot."
9. You hate it when Aramis Ramirez is overlooked.
10. You have copied Alfonso Soriano's batting stance.
11. Your great-grandmother wasn't even alive when the Cubs last won a World Series.
12. You have a pet goat named Billy.
13. You have a Harry Caray mask.
14. Your team's radio announcers drive you to death.
15. You would give a vital organ to lead "Take Me Out to the Ballgame."
16. Anybody who messes up during the seventh inning stretch deserves to be shunned in your book.
17. You know all of the curses in Cubs history.
18. Regular season success is expected by you, but postseason success is not.
19. You have had to explain to somebody that a swear word is not on the back of your jersey and that it says "Fukudome", the name of a player.
20. You want a free Milton Bradley board game give away day at Wrigley Field in honor of the new center fielder.
21. You have written a lullaby for Sweet Lou.
22. You have dropped peanut shells into the ivy.
23. You have thrown back every home run ball that you caught.
24. If a kid catches an opponent's home run ball, you snatch it and toss it back.
25. You think the Cubs are the best team ever!