ABC is airing a celebrity diving show, called Splash. One of the celebrities on the show will be Miss USA 2012 contestant Katherine Webb (pictured). We all know she looks hot in a bathing suit, so some of us will tune in just for Katherine and the other eye candy.
But come on, dude. 'Celebrity diving' is a lame idea for a sports reality show. No wonder Fox's own celebrity diving show, Stars in Danger, scored nothing but zeros with the viewers.
There are so many cool sports in this country that celebrities could be attempting on the air for our viewing pleasure and all ABC could think of was diving?
Give me Dr. Phil in hockey gear attempting to stop a 100 mph slap shot. Or how bout Eva Longoria attempting to break an opponent's ankles with a crossover dribble? And I'd love to see Deion Sanders in a rugby scrum.
So, here are 10 sports reality show ideas that are better than 'Celebrity Diving'.
No move on a basketball court can electrify a crowded arena quite like a devastating crossover.
Retired NBA star Allen Iverson—himself the owner of a legendary crossover—could teach a group of celebrities how to execute a knee-buckling move.
The celebrities could show off their moves in a series of scrimmages, in which the players with the most crowd-pleasing crossovers would advance.
Just don't ask Coach Iverson how his celebrities played during practice.
NHL goalies have a thankless job.
They face an average of 30 shots a night in the form of cold, hard rubber. And some of these shots come screaming in at over 100 mph.
So why not throw a few celebrities in some goalie pads, strap on a mask and a catching glove, and see what they're made of?
A former goaltender such as Mike Richter or Olaf Kolzig would be a perfect coach for the goaltending newbies.
But the key to this show would be the current NHL players brought in to test the celebrity goaltenders with some wicked slapshots.
How about Shea Weber and Zdeno Chara?
Piece of cake.
For those unfamiliar with soccer, to "nutmeg" an opponent means to kick the soccer ball between his legs, whether passing the ball to a teammate or to yourself as you run past the distracted defender to retrieve the ball on your own. The term is generally shortened to "meg".
With the ever-increasing popularity of soccer in this country, it would be cool to gather a group of celebrities with limited or no knowledge of soccer, and teach them how to execute certain moves, jukes and fakes on the pitch.
This list would include the embarrassing "nutmeg", the dizzying "double-scissors step-over" and perhaps even the elusive "rainbow".
One reason tennis is so popular is that it can be played by people of all ages and skill levels.
However, not all tennis players can reach 100 mph on their serve. And even fewer can successfully return a serve that fast.
Naturally, a show should be created to teach celebrities how to unleash a powerful serve, as well as how to return one. The winner of the show would be determined by a combination of the speed of their own serve and how many opponent's serves they successfully return.
Recently retired tennis pro Andy Roddick would be perfect as the host. Roddick's serve has been clocked at 155 mph, and he's a big enough smart ass to be sufficiently entertaining on camera.
Americans love football. It's fast, physical, and violent.
But those wusses wear pads and helmets.
Real men don't wear pads and helmets. Real men play rugby.
Somehow, rugby has never really caught on as a popular sport in this country, beyond a handful of college teams, scattered local clubs, and the mostly unsuccessful US National Team.
But perhaps rugby's popularity would receive a boost if former American football stars—such as Deion Sanders—were picked to learn the sport in a series of episodes.
I would pay good money to see Deion Sanders tackle an opposing football player. I would pay even better money to see Sanders tackle an opposing rugby player while not wearing pads or a helmet.
NASCAR has cemented itself as one of the most popular sports in the US.
People can't get enough NASCAR, and many athletes from other sports have had to eat their words after realizing that NASCAR drivers actually do have a tough job.
Well, count me as one person who would love to see celebrities try to perform another difficult task—working as a member of a NASCAR pit crew.
This reality show is good television. The celebrities would be in hot, noisy, dangerous conditions, making for constant drama. And better yet, each pit crew could be made entirely of celebrities, adding the team dynamic to the tension.
Running backs get all the glory.
They also get all the bruised ribs, broken bones and battered knees.
To fully indoctrinate various celebrities into the world of professional football, have them go through the same drills, practices and situations that an NFL running back would endure throughout training camp and the regular season.
The personable Jerome Bettis could host, and be joined through the course of the show by other former running backs such as Marshall Faulk and Clinton Portis to help demonstrate specific skills.
But to make the show really interesting, the celebrities would be greeted during their drills by former Pro Bowl and future Hall of Fame defensive players, to get an accurate depiction of life as an NFL running back.
Players such as Warren Sapp, Derrick Brooks, Ray Lewis, Michael Strahan and Rodney Harrison.
Yes, that will do nicely.
Some "extreme sports" don't deserve the title.
Trying to surf the rolling tube of a 20 foot wave that comes crashing down around you with multiple tons of force while you attempt to avoid sharp rocks and jagged shark teeth?
Now that's extreme.
Slide Kim Kardashian into a string bikini as she goes for a ride on a surfboard, and that would be fun to watch, my friends.
How epic would it be to watch your favorite celebrities ruin each other's pretty little faces as they engaged in a full scale donnybrook during each episode of a new reality show?
Now imagine if all this were done on skates.
You see, fighting in hockey is doubly challenging: you must be a skilled pugilist, and an adept skater at the same time.
Either of these skills can be difficult to master. Watching celebrities try to master both at the same time would be a blast.
Former NHL pest Sean Avery is a perfect fit for the host of this show. Avery could teach the combatants how to fight, and even how to get under their opponents' skin.
How? By insulting their girlfriends, of course.
MMA is wildly popular right now.
To capitalize on that popularity, UFC President Dana White can create a new reality show, only different from "The Ultimate Fighter."
This new show could focus on training celebrities in submission holds and how to get out of them. The show would be aptly titled "Sub & Doms" (clever, huh?).
Now picture this for a second: Katy Perry attempting to submit Nicki Minaj with a guillotine, as both are wearing tight spandex shorts and poorly fitting tank tops.