The New England Braintrust Strikes Again, Denver Edition
So it’s over now. After an 11-year process of finding and developing a franchise quarterback, he’s gone and we’re starting over. Once the New England braintrust arrived in Denver, they used their unique insight to break the team down and see what we needed.
Denver’s defense is bad. Really bad. Denver employs the "Ole!" defense, which means when the running back dips his shoulders, they nimbly get out of his way (like a bullfighter) and then start preparing the excuses they’ll use for the news conference afterward.
Their pass defense is like the 1993 San Diego Chargers team, in that they just stand there and let Champ make all the plays. They lacked a true nose tackle and had undersized linebackers, so of course they switched to a 3-4, which made all of their problems worse.
The offense lacked a true every-down running back, and the offensive line was aging visibly in certain spots. The game-breaking wide receiver is always on the verge of suspension. But we had a young quarterback that refused to lose and could make every throw.
And that’s the guy we got rid off after an busy offseason where we signed people like the train scene from the King of New York, but never improved our front seven.
Cutler fell short of the New England standard and they shipped him out. He was immature, he was thin-skinned, he parted his hair on the wrong side, etc. But keep in mind they were comparing him to Tom Brady.
Tom Brady is the best quarterback of our generation. There could be a strong argument that he is the best quarterback of any generation. He has taken far less money than he could have for the good of his team. He is stone cold under fire. He is cautious with the media. He is coachable and humble and works hard. He has a strong arm, but is deadly accurate.
Brady is football's equivalent to Barack Obama. He has transcended his position to become a part of Americana. Comparing your quarterback to him is like comparing your wife to Salma Hayek; they’re always going to fall short in some way. It might not be a reasonable standard.
Looking for the next Tom Brady? Its going to be a long shot. Maybe you should work with the people you have and make them better, its called—what's that word?—coaching. Maybe when you got in town, and the clumsy trade thing didn't work out, you should have just apologized, reassured your quarterback, and moved on.
Its too late now. So what are we to think of the New England braintrust?
This is the way that Josh McDaniels should be judged. Who does he pick with these purloined draft picks?
If he picks a quarterback, he is officially a dunce. He got rid of a young franchise quarterback who can make all the throw for hopefully a young franchise quarterback who can make all the throws. Oh, sorry, thanks for playing. You can join the rest of the failed New England second fiddles over there. No need to get up, Romeo.
If he makes solid offensive or defensive line picks, there’s hope for the future, just not this season. If he picks a cornerback or safety, Darren Sproles and LaDamian Tomlinson might set the rushing record on this defense...separately.
We’ll see. Right now, watching a Bears game is like when Julia Roberts married Lyle Lovett. They’ll have a game-changing quarterback and a ghastly offense. Cutler will throw, Berrian will drop it, and both sets of fans will wonder how we got into this mess.
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