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Dirt Doggerel II: The Boston Red Sox Offseason in Review

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Dirt Doggerel II: The Boston Red Sox Offseason in Review
(Photo By: Getty Images)

In honor of Opening Day—less then one week away—and because such things make baseball fans giddy (even giddy enough to rehash the whole of the long, cold winter wait in rhymed couplets)... 

Dirt Doggerel II: The Red Sox Off Season in Review

 

Pedroia got MVP.  Youk came in third.

Their contract extensions?  The best news I’ve heard.

Jon Lester is signed now through twenty-fourteen—

Just one year for Paps, but he’s still on the scene.

The foresight of Theo and Co. is uncanny.

(The Dodgers have once again signed our pal Manny.)

Teixeira’s a Yankee now.  Blame Leigh, his wife.

Tek’s back in as captain—he’s Red Sox for life.

Big Papi’s all cured.  On his bat, the team hinges.

(A-Rod got caught with his cousin’s syringes!)

The bloody sock hero, Curt Schilling, retired.

The sure-fire, Hall of Fame Smoltz was acquired.

We said bye to Crisp – but so glad that we had’im.

(A-Rod got caught with a Manhattan madam!)

We said bye to Byrd, Bard (again!), and Colón.

And Cora and Cash to new rosters have flown.

Kottaras and Lowrie are joining the mix.

Mark Kotsay’s returning, when his back is fixed.

Add Rocco Baldelli, the picture gets clearer.

(A-Rod got caught making out with a mirror!)

We added Ramirez, and Saito, and Penny.

Lowell and Beckett are healthy as any.

The off season’s long as the winter is cold,

But this year the payoff will be solid gold.

October, we mourned after Game Seven: tragic!

But April?  The pieces are set for Sox magic.

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