Want to Win in 2009? Either Push the BUTTON or Get Drunk in a BARrichello

Ann GryCorrespondent IMarch 31, 2009

MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - MARCH 29:  Jenson Button of Great Britain and Brawn GP celebrates on the podium as he wins the Australian Formula One Grand Prix at the Albert Park Circuit on March 29, 2009 in Melbourne, Australia.  (Photo by Robert Cianflone/Getty Images)

I never liked the first race of the season. There was always something new and it felt weird. And this season everything is new and I feel...I don’t even know what I feel!

What is going on?! Was that Button winning the race? Was that Barrichello behind him? WAS THAT KIMI ON THE WALL?!!!

What’s next? Pole position for Nakajima? First place for Piquet? Fastest lap for Sutil?

During winter, everybody was talking about the Big Revolution. New tyres, new engine rules, new pit-stop rules. Equal chances for all of the drivers, more overtaking. I was listening to that and saying: yeah, yeah, wait for Ferrari 1-2.

I was sick from the words: preview, prediction, KERS. I just wanted to watch the race.

But as the Friday training session started I realized…that these cars are really ugly. Although I’ve seen the pictures of them before, seeing them altogether on the grid was shocking.

The rear wings look like mini fridges. And these lawnmowers in front of the car? Lower front wings suppose to work better in turbulent air flow from the car up front, right? I hope they do, it’s not worth it to be ugly for nothing.

But I love the slick tyres. They are more sensitive to weight than the grooved ones. Couple of rain drops and someone is going to have problems (of course not you, Felipe!)

The big Sunday arrived, I woke up at 8 in the morning to watch the race. As I turned on TV the sound of engines exploded in my house. I closed my eyes and listened. God, I missed that.

The best part was that my family couldn’t tell me anything because we made an agreement. I was excited. All this previous talks, previews, predictions made it sound promising. The drivers were hungry for wins and all of them said that this year’s car is best ever.

But then I opened my eyes and realized that something was wrong. Button was still up front. By this time, someone in a red or silver car should be there. Were they really serious with this revolution? And why Ron was standing next to the pit wall? I thought that “Martin is in charge now” was a joke. It felt...new.

But then Kazuki hit the wall. Nelson went off track. Red Bull car was out on the first corner. Welcome back season 2008.

So the red car should overtake Button in a minute. I know it is quite hard to overtake on Melbourne track, but I they say there is a chance to do it at turns 1, 3 and 9. And this season supposed to be all about overtaking.

But hold up, Button is still up front. What was behind him was much more interesting. Until I realized that neither of the Ferraris finished with points.

But the Kubica-Vettel fight was very enjoyable. Robert’s two tyres end up in the middle of the track and Sebastian was screaming “I’m an idiot, I’m sorry!”

Personally, I don’t think he is. He put up a fight, and that what pure racers do.

Anyway, congratulations to you, Jenson. I’ll never be your fan, but that was brilliant drive. And don’t listen to this “diffuser-help blah blah blah”. They’re jealous because you’re handsome and just won the race. You have it all.

Congratulations to Sebastien Buemi. First GP, smart drive, finished with points. You see that, Nelson?

The race at Sepang is ahead of us. Thank God, we don’t have to wait for another week.

Currently, Toro Rosso has more points than Ferrari. I hope that will change soon, especially that someone won his first race here in 2003. And last year.

Kimi, wherever you are, please come back. The guy who drives for you sucks.