College Football: SEC Teams as Middle Eastern Countries

Eric JacksonCorrespondent IMarch 26, 2008

Southeastern Conference football is often regarded as one of the most competitive, and rivalry-rich, conferences in America.

As a Tennessee alumnus who has watched every team on this list play at least once, I can tell you that there are few things quite like the passion displayed in SEC rivalries.

If you don't know that much about the teams in the SEC, but you're a history buff like I am, this rundown of SEC teams as Middle Eastern countries may help you better understand the SEC...

(note: my apologies for not making it known up front that this is one of those forwarded-multiple-times jokes I received via email. For the life of me I've been unable to find who originally wrote it. I had it in my first draft of this post to state that...and deleted it in my giddy rush to publish it. Nonetheless, it's sheer brilliance...certainly not from my head) 

ALABAMA: Saudi Arabia

Once a proud kingdom, torn up by fighting and surrounded by Iran and Iraq (see below), with an a$$hole in Al-Qaeda hell bent on bringing them down.


LSU: Iran

Current superpower in the region but it will all come crashing down because they have a highly functioning retard as a leader.



Got a bunch of history but the country as a whole is going in the tank and they will kill themselves off before it's all over.



Evil douchebags who will stoop to whatever level they need to win. No real history to speak of but thinks they are the cradle of civilization.



Tons of riches and unrealized potential, but still vulnerable to Iraq.


AUBURN: Al Qaeda

No country, just a movement of disgruntled fanatics who live to blow up those who are more fortunate. No other goal in life than to bring down the House of Saudi Arabia. Terrorizing the Arabians for six years is the crowning achievement in their history. Signing day was a major setback to the movement. They'll be looking for a new leader soon.


ARKANSAS: Palestinian territories

No one really cares or worries about them unless they can be of some use (i.e. winning a battle once in a while against Iran that causes a bit of shake up in rankings)



Where the hell is Qatar?


OLE MISS: Afghanistan

Not much going for it, but hot women.



Just leave them alone for God's sake. What did they ever do to you?



Not really part of the Middle East. Has other things to do than fight (or play football)



Has a charismatic leader in a land of nothingness. Will rattle his word but knows he doesn't have a whole hell of a lot to back it up with.