MSG L.P: Please, everyone put your hands together for your new General Manager, Ms. Dominica Stewart. Hailing from the big-little town of Lawton, Okla., she replaces Mrs. Carol Blazejowski, who has had a decent tenure as GM.
Please, Ms. Stewart, why don’t you inform us of the changes and other things you hope to do and accomplish while at New York.”
Disclaimer: Okay, so this will most likely not happen anytime soon, but I am bored and the Liberty could use some help (well, most NY teams could use help actually, but that’s another story).
So please, Madison Square Garden L.P. and the real GM, please feel free to take notes...all in good fun, of course.
First off, I’m changing this ridiculous color scheme. Seriously, blue, orange, white, and liberty green?
Who picked this? You’re fired.
Now, we shall keep the Liberty mascot (better believe that logo will be tweaked) but change the colors to something simple: black and the liberty green. The green shall be allowed to stay only because our Lady is that color and also our mascot.
Can’t get the fans too mad at me, right?
Not the prettiest colors, but oh well, we got bigger concerns for now.
Coaching
Let us start at the top of the team’s food chain: coaching.
Pat Coyle, you are a good coach, but sadly, your term ends here. You have had your ups and downs, winning in the first rounds but capping out at the conference finals. I need a winner-coach (new word) who can take this team to new heights.
Now, I have nothing against you; it is just business.
Since Pat Summitt hasn’t returned my calls and with the current restraining order I was mailed, I guess it’s safe to say, you are still not interested.
I have read some older articles of this coach possibly making the jump into the league, so without further ado, Geno Auriemma, I choose you!
My favorite Italian (like I know that many) ain’t getting any younger. After having tremendous success with his Lady Huskies, let’s give this man a new challenge before he retires and is forced to only watching games yelling at his television screen.
Gone are the easy days of paying a coach $8,900 (remember those days, Pat?) so I must step up my game. UCONN is supposedly paying him just under a million last time I checked your Twitter.
How does $1.19 million sound, Geno?
Don’t be greedy, Geno; I know Nike endorses you too.
Wait, what do you mean we can’t afford that?
I want a government bail-out. This is important. I must have Geno!
Don’t worry Mr. Auriemma, our owners are good for it. They own us, other NY teams, the stadium, and are owned by Cablevision, the fifth largest cable provider.
What do you mean you are nervous? Of course it is a guaranteed contract. Would I lie to you?
Eh, fine. Stay at Connecticut.
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