Vince Never Saw Me: CRANK: AdrenaLin's Debut

KumarCorrespondent IMarch 28, 2009

CRANK needs championships, a show, and two PPVs.  My new promotion has a different background than any other ever seen. It’s all about the antics. Heels are respected, and you have to be aggressive to get the job done. It’s a dog-eat-dog world.

CRANK is here, and AdrenaLin is where you’re at.

Roster is what’s below….

Triple H


Randy Orton

Scott Steiner

Booker T

Kurt Angle

John Morrison

The Rock

Stone Cold

John Cena (2003 rapper gimmick)

Evan Bourne

Jody Fleisch

CM Punk


Jeff Hardy

Undertaker (Bad Ass gimmick)

Petey Williams


Rey Mysterio






Lita, Mickie, Melina, Torrie, Natalya, Stacy, and Trish




(Two World Titles, Two Mid-Card, one Diva, one Tag is the order here)

RUSH Title

Platinum Belt

Title of the Future (TOF Belt)

Hardcore Title

Silver Belt

CRANK Tag Title


Faces are established by daring, aggressive, weapon-yielding, and backstabbing people. Difficulty is, when’s backstabbing good, or bad? A cheap shot makes you a heel, and a good shot, or an intelligent turn makes you a face. Beat-downs aren’t good, and the style here is very fast and powerful. Weapons are always good, no matter whom you attack.

The situation starts where EVERY championship is up for grabs. People are against each other, and unlike WWE, they’re remembering what went on years and years ago. Everyone starts out as a face, but we’ll see who goes to heel first…

In addition, in a normal match, one weapon is legal per wrestler. Only one. Weapons may be used, but in stipulation matches, weapons aren’t legal unless stated.

The show starts with, the General Manager, Ric Flair, telling everybody on the stage (which is TNA’s stage, but WWE’s ring) that there will be a Battle Royale featuring every man in the arena, for the Rush Title, CRANK’s equivalent to the WWE Championship. The Platinum Belt is the Big Gold Belt in terms, and as Flair also announced, will be battled by the last two men eliminated.

MATCH I: Battle Royale- Triple H wins the RUSH Title. Orton, Steiner, and Rey Mysterio were the three last men eliminated. Triple H and Orton teamed on Steiner to get him out, while Rey was almost unconscious from a Canadian Destroyer a while ago. Orton and H team on Steiner, to the crowd’s dismay, because of the constant stomps and slow pace of their moves. Once Steiner was gone, Mysterio went on, only to meet an angry Triple H and got eliminated almost immediately. Triple H and Orton battled it out and Triple H Spinebusted Orton to the rope, knocking him out.

Promo: Steiner owns Triple H. Randy Orton meets Triple H backstage to tell him that teaming with him didn’t mean they were Evolution all over again. Orton remembers that H turned on him after he won his first title. BOTH START TO TURN HEEL, but as they start to argue, Steiner and Mysterio come out, with Steiner cursing as usual. Steiner and Mysterio then attack Triple H and Orton, with Steiner getting his pipe out, tearing Triple H apart. Mysterio takes Orton, but the picture stays with Triple H and Steiner. Steiner eventually tells Triple H that you “gotta stop cheating the business, or I’ll cheat you”, and then dumps Triple H in a trash can, and yells at him to take his damn title. After the damage is done, Rey throws Orton in there too, and it seems like Steiner and Rey Rey are up to something.

Flair then comes out again, announcing some of the rest of the matches for the night. He gets through a Tag Team match, Brothers of Destruction vs. the reuniting Dudley Boyz for the Tag Tile, and a “Dream Match of Highflyers”, Bourne vs. Fleisch in a 15-minute Ironman. Flair states that there’s a Diva Tournament over the next month for the Silver Belt.

Then, like the old days, comes John Cena, rapping against not winning that Battle Royale, with Chain Gang is the Click blaring across the arena.

Cena goes on to insult the city, but surprisingly, not Flair. He tells him that he respects him, but wants a TOF shot for later, but who’s the challenger? On cue, Y2J is out, and is telling Cena that he’s an Assclown, right then, because he’s the challenger. But suddenly, to a HUGE pop….


Edge? Looks like the guy has Ozzy on his playlist (I Don’t Wanna Stop), but he comes out to his new theme, and immediately guns for Cena with a chair. He gets him, and knocks Cena out with an Edgecution on a chair.

And so, Flair comes back in the ring, with Christian. A match is made for BOTH the TOF Belt and the Hardcore Title, and it will be a Fatal Four Way Hardcore Match, as long as the Hardcore Title’s in play. First fall gets the TOF, and then that guy is kicked out of action. Last fall is for the Title.

MATCH II: First Round in Tournament for Silver Belt: Melina vs. Torrie

WINNER: Melina, who then beats down Torrie afterwards.  Melina turns heel, and tells the crowd to shut up.

Promo: Angle arrives to town in a T-Shirt, and then meets Booker T, who’s in a suit, tie, and sunglasses…and is carrying the WCW Championship. Booker T still has that WCW Championship, and is on the phone. He wants a Title Shot, and tells the guy that he’s an “uncrowned champion”. He keeps talking, and the fans keep booing. Then, out of the blue, Kurt shows up. Angle slaps Booker in the face, and tells him to get your respect somewhere else.

MATCH III: Ironman (15 Min.): Jody Fleisch def. Evan Bourne. Fleisch isn’t that popular, and Bourne looks…cocky. Bourne starts to impress in the match, to eventually a pinfall.  Fleisch, though, knocks Bourne outside, and if you know Jody, this is where the damage starts. Fleisch just has a ton of Top Rope moves on his belt, so after a Moonsault, a couple heel kicks, and hit a 450 Splash on Bourne. Bourne kicked out, and then went under the ring for some barbed wire. This backfired, because Fleisch hit a Springboard Dropkick on Bourne. Then, as Bourne was getting up, the 720 DDT was done (on the Barbed Wire), and Fleisch pinned Bourne. No turns, but a tie…Flair decides it’ll be concluded…next week.

Promo:Flair congratulates Fleisch on the match backstage, and a cold open on the Brothers of Destruction appears….

MATCH IV: TOF Title Match: Y2J is new Hardcore Champ, and Edge wins the TOF Title. Cena turns tweener, Jericho is heel, and Christian…we don’t know where he is.

Interview: Kevin Kelly? WTF? Yes, the Rock’s favorite hermaphrodite is back, everyone. So Rocky gave an interview on Y2J being a wuss…

MATCH V: Tag Match: Brothers of Destruction vs. Dudley Boyz, BOD wins Tag Titles. Dudleyz basically jobbed this one, but after, MVP and Petey Williams team up and clear the ring. Petey, using the Steiner Pipe, got Taker and Kane up and out. 3D then was actually ready to fight the new team, but they just had a face-off to end it.

MATCH VI: Platinum Belt Title Match: Rey Mysterio def. Randy Orton. Orton dominates the match, as he becomes heel for using his slow, unentertaining method of stomping the hell out of Mysterio. Match goes slowly for about 6 minutes, but Mysterio reverses a Top Rope move, reverses the rope, and pulls off the Frankensteiner, apparently in tribute to Scott. He tries to pin Orton, but it backfires, as Orton kicks out at one, and then hands Mysterio a powerslam. He gets a weapon, and starts to set Mysterio up to be Irish-whipped right into the chair, head first. Mysterio reverses it, pulls off a couple fast-paced moves, much to the crowd’s appreciation, and hits the 619. Mysterio pins Orton.

Conclusion:Mysterio, Orton, Triple H, Kurt Angle, Booker T, and Scott Steiner brawl. Triple H hands sledgehammers to Orton and Booker, clean the ring, but then reveals one more of his own on his leg, and lays Orton and Booker out. Triple H reveals his plan of becoming a Undisputed Champion by holding both Titles up…



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