NFL Draft: Let's Face It, You Are The Only Intellectual

(Photo by Jonathan Fickies/Getty Images)

To be honest, the NFL Draft is annually on my "Best Day of the Year" top-10 list. 

I'm a draftnik and I have no shame admitting that.  For some reason, people do not understand what it takes to search up hundreds of potential future superstars and balance a Facebook social life.  It's hard work, people.

I love everything about the Draft from the beginning of the College Football season to the end of the Super Bowl, then the "real" season begins.  Invitations to the Senior Bowl, Combine, Texas vs. the Nation, the Pro Day drama and the ever important 40-yard dash in your Under Armour. 

Who doesn't like seeing Casey Hampton in his long johns and running without a shirt on?  It's way more entertaining than anything they could put on TMZ!  I can follow that up by "tweeting" to my friends about how that .1 of a second that Knowshon Moreno shed that makes him a bonafide starter!  Then they can call me Mel Kiper III or someone who's bound to be a sportscaster or Cosmo Kramer plus snuggie in ten years!  It's a risk taking life, the life of a Draftnik.

But what drives our people to the Draft?  The casual fan will brush up on the top 30-50 guys or so to see the names they'll recognize and wait to see who their team takes as their first pick.  Then they turn on their local news and wait until Sunday night to see the "finished" product.  Maybe they will read a few scouting reports to see if that 7th round WR has kick return potential and be that crucial gamebreaker for their squad.

Turning off the draft is near-blasphemy and enough to dare I say, question one's fanhood to us.  Doing such actions is like questioning the faith of Pat Robertson, you should just never admit that to your friends. 

In all seriousness, most of the football world's fascination with the draft is enough to keep Sigmund Freud engaged for awhile.  This is the only time a football fan will actually bypass real football skill to see cone drills.  Of course, we'll use such mundane things as production, offensive schemes and schedule strength with the Wonderlic. 

But most importantly, and I am in this faction, I think there's a bit of selfishness to the Draft by the fan.  It's the equivalent of fantasy sports or the March Madness pool.  We want to play GM without the cap for a bit.  Why not trade the whole draft for Matthew Stafford or take Jason Boltus out of Hartwick in the fourth round?  We are certain that we know more than the front office and unless you are a Raiders fan, you do not.  Even Matt Millen picked Calvin Johnson!  We want to find those gems from the NAIA or the DIII level.  We want to know the future stars of the game so we can shout on rooftops to our grandchildren in Canton, Ohio that "I found this kid!" It's being a pseudo-agent or PR man. 

Because why else would I want to see college grown kids in their underwear and use terms like "heavy-legged waist bender"?

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