[Spoof] Cristiano Ronaldo To Leave: Cites Fan Disapproval For Final Decision
Reuters
Thursday March 26 2009
Cristiano Ronaldo announced his intention to leave Manchester United for Real Madrid in a press conference earlier this morning.ย Despite earlier links to the legendary Spanish club, Ronaldo finally confirmed that he will be leaving the Red Devils in the summer, citing a "dirty look" from an elderly woman on the street as the final straw.
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Speaking in Portuguese, the clearly distraught star rushed through his statement, barely holding back tears.ย
"I was just walking down the street with my mate Nani, holding a few shopping bags, when I bumped into an old woman walking the other way.ย I said a few choice words to her, and she gave me a dirty look.ย
"I have been very loyal to the Manchester United club and its fans, but I cannot take this abuse any longer.ย I have decided to request a transfer to Real Madrid this summer."
This news comes as no surprise to many fans of world football, as the Real Madrid-Cristiano Ronaldo saga has continued for over a year.ย
Previous attempts by the Portuguese star to force a move included a doctor's note stating a severe allergy to prawn sandwiches, extreme psychological issues with red-headed centre midfielders, and most recently, a lack of a very rare and expensive brand of hair gel only found in Madrid.
Sir Alex Ferguson and the Manchester United staff could not be reached for comment.
(Reporting by Aaron West/Editing by Aaron West)
*Disclaimer: This article is a joke, and in no way affiliated with Reuters.ย Please do not sue me.


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