Manchester United and Gillingham Lose, but Rugby Union Is on My Side

(Photo by Ryan Pierse/Getty Images)

Does football hate me?

"Hell, yeah it does!", I imagine Gillete Soccer Saturday presenter Jeff Stelling telling me, as I check the Sky Sports website to find out the results of my two beloved football teams.

Firstly, I check the Sky Sports online score centre for my first team Gillingham's result. I see them in the League Two section and look at the score: "3-0". Dammit.

To make sure I'm not seeing things and that the mighty Gills really have lost to officially the worst team in the league, I then check Gillingham's official club website, where my friend and the club's media manager, Martin Weller, has written up the match report of today's game.

The first thing I see is the teaser, and it reads: "Mark Stimson's men drop to third in the table after a disappointing defeat to the Mariners." What?!

I look up and see the headline, and my worst nightmare is confirmed: "GRIMSBY TOWN 3-0 GILLINGHAM". We have lost to a team who has only achieved six wins all season.

Even AFC Bournemouth, who started the season with -17 points, are above Grimsby in the table. You really would think that Gillingham would want to win this one if they are to achieve promotion this season. After all, it is only Grimsby, and we have much tougher tests than that coming up this season!

But no, Gillingham lose. And to make it worse, and confirming my knowledge that football hates me, I go back to skysports.com, hopefully seeing Manchester United back to winning ways with a complete annihilation of Fulham.

But again, no. As one quintuple fades away, another smacks me right in the face.

Firstly, BHAM! In the 17th minute, Paul Scholes is given a straight red for handling the ball on the line.

Secondly, BHAM! From the resulting penalty, Fulham take the lead via what the Sky Sports live commentary says, "the penalty spot brilliance of Danny Murphy."

Thirdly, BHAM! Right near the end, on 87 minutes, Hungary international Zoltan Gera makes it double for the Cottagers, flicking the ball up in the air before producing a killer overhead kick which confirms the nightmare for the hundreds of millions of Manchester United all over the world.

Fourthly, BHAM! Wayne Rooney picks up a second yellow, and he's off. Of course it's that cliché, from bad to worse for United.

Finally, BHAM! The scoreline confirms what I just read. "FULHAM 2-0 MANCHESTER UNITED."

Ouch. I felt a quintuple of pain pangs, as after attempting to forget about Gillingham, I'm brought straight back to football misery.

I had a brief respite from such misery when seeing that Chelsea lost, which always feels great.

But in terms of football, that was as good as it got, because the evening game didn't make things any better.

If it wasn't bad enough that Arsenal won and put all the pressure on Aston Villa tomorrow, their first goalscorer was the one that I really didn't want to see on the scoresheet.

I claimed Salomon Kalou was a much better player, and although I stick by that, I probably have egg on my face now.

Big Danish striker Nicklas Bendtner opened the scoring for Arsenal, as they went on to secure what seemed like a fairly routine 3-1 win over Newcastle United.

I received a lot of criticism for saying that Ivory Coast striker Salomon Kalou is much better than Bendtner, and at the moment it seems like my critics are in fact correct.

After seeing my beloved teams lose and my enemies win, I really do get the impression football hates me at the moment.

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