Word Life! The Lost Volumes: Big Show (Kong): "Get off My Vickie!"

AkDSenior Writer IMarch 21, 2009

"Get off of My Vickie!"

Smackdown failed to save WWE this week. There were some bright spots in the 500th episode, but it failed overall. The ending segment was one for the ages. I sat back and saw all the comparisons.

How silly could I be? Edge and Big Show had conflict from RAW. Edge had speared him after the two beat the crap out of John Cena. Edge was sneaky. He is an opportunist, the ultimate one. He's like a raptor of some sorts.

Not the basketball team (they suck), but the dinosaur. An idea has sparked, I had something. With the Edge/Raptor comparison, I came with Jurassic Park. Shaking my head and reaching for a glass of water, I took another shot to figure out what I was watching.

Clearly annoyed and hot, I was ready to blast Smackdown for this love triangle segment. I saw Vickie speaking, It made me sick. 

"The winner at Wrestlemania won't only win the the World Heavyweight Title, but they'll win my heart."

My goodness, what is going on WWE? If I didn't know any better, I'd call Vickie the late Vina Fay Wray. Wray starred in the 1933 classic, King Kong. Vickie of course dosen't look as elegant as the late actress, but I'll say Wray with 150 more pounds.

Edge was one of those raptors. Sneaky "weasel-like" swift guy. Who was left? Kong himself. Under the heat, I found it difficult to stay focused on the show, especially with an angle that I'm not liking.

Cena came out...of course, and he tried to egg on Edge and Show. Edge was saying that no one knew Vickie like he knew her. After a while, Big Show took the mic.


"WHAT?! The heck did he say?"

When Show was speaking on the mic, I heard, I saw, King Kong. Cena gets his way of course, as Edge and Big Show confront each other the same way Kong and the raptors/dinosaurs clashed.

A fight broke out and Show inadvertently shoved Vickie to the ground.


Show is clearly upset, as he and Edge try to tend to Vickie. Show picks her up, like Kong picks up Wray, and tries to exit the ring. He turns around and Edge spears her as Big Show evades him.

Show is getting more upset by the minute. Edge, the raptor, realizes her anger and Show is shoved away again. Kong holds back as he tries to tend to the woman he loves (disgusting) as he picks her up another time.

The raptor isn't as powerful as Kong, so he lunges for Kong's leg and he falls down. Vickie falls down on the mat and gets slammed again. Show turns around and is now in fury mode.


He grabs Edge, the raptor, by his throat and gives him a chokeslam. Kong picks up his dear Vickie and carries her away like Kong as he tries to protect Wray. What will happen next? Will Edge the raptor strike again? Will Super-Cena attempt to slay the might Show Kong? The quest for Vickie's love continues...ewwwww.

-Usually this is the work of the Dynasty Manifesto, but they have been M.I.A. lately.