What's Wrong With the WWE? I Know.

Lanny PoffoCorrespondent IMarch 20, 2009

So, what's wrong with the WWE lately? 

Well, for starters, let's look at Wrestlemania 25.

First of all, let's look at the MITB. Now nothing gets me more excited than the prospect of Kane and Mark Henry climbing a ladder. I heard Mark Henry might even jump off the second rung. 

What, is Punk gonna win again. And then cash it in? 

It'll probably be against Edge again. Punk will hold the title for a record (for him) one month. 

Maybe it'll be the Gold Standard's year. No, let's try to be a little serious.

How about Christian. Watching him at the announce table on Raw, he seemed like the kid in high school who thinks he's much cooler than he actually is, and realizes it mid-sentence. 

The Title Matches

Triple H, (AKA Boris Karloff) vs. Randy Orton (AKA Abbott or Costello)

These two guys have had decent matches in the past, you know, when one of them wasn't breaking a collar bone, so they needed to spice this one up a little. So now, Trips is a McMahon. If I was Orton, I'd just say, "Hey, I didn't do anything to Stephanie that you didn't do to her in 1999."

Then we have the Love TriANGLE. 

The look on John Cena's face when he showed the security footage made me want to throw the remote at the TV.  Like "Yeah, I got you." 

Shut up Cena. He's so boring, it's impossible to even come up with a funny line about him.  

I can get into Taker vs. HBK because I think it will be a good match, but Taker's going to win. He is. 

He just is. 

They should therefore make the match more entertaining. Like I don't know, a retirement stipulation. 

Or Taker get's the rights to HBK's name. Or make it a ladder match where they have to release a package of "Depends" hanging above the ring.  

Hardy Vs. Hardy: Not since Paul Roma took on Moondog Spot on an episode of WWF Superstars, have I been less interested in who wins a match.

Y2J vs. The Legends: Hey, where's Iron Mike Sharp?  Huh?  It'd be great if Y2J was doing a promo, and Sharp just came out doing his  "AAAWWWWWRRRRRRRRR" with his hairy chest and stomach hanging out.


Other Random Hopefully Humorous Wrestling Thoughts:

Just once, I'd like to see HHH backdropped. Just once. 

If I saw him backdropped once, then every other time I saw a guy whip him into the ropes, and drop his own head, I would have a sliver of doubt that he's not about to get a knee to his face.

Do you think, just for old times sake, the original members of Demolition go to the Cemetery and exchange places with Krush? 

I think that the Undertaker's streak should continue, but he should face guys like Santino Marrella, because 10 out of the 16 wins in a row were against ridiculous opponents. 

That's it for this week.  Love it or Hate it, let me know.