Great Golf Quotes by Famous People

Well, it's my birthday coming up on the 30th, and my mom sent me a golf joke book, with not only priceless golf jokes, too numerous to print, but great quotes.

Some of these I've have seen before, and some are quite new.

I like the comedians' quotes the best, but some pro golfer's would have had great stand up comedy careers as well, especially Chi Chi Rodriquez, and Lee Trevino.

I was at Wood Ranch in Simi Valley, Calif., a number of years ago. The Senior PGA Tour dropped this course off of their schedule, in fact the next season because of 40 mile an hour winds, and greens that turned into glass-like surfaces in the heat and wind.

There were some high 80s and low 90s posted by some of the senior pro's and the complaints were very funny. to say the least. One guy asked me, how the f--- can you play in this god forsaken place, in fact. I just laughed, because I enjoyed the wind.

If I had the wind, I got good distance on my drives, and if it was in my face, I did not care, because it took me three shots to get to the green on long holes anyway.

I was watching Chi Chi practice on the putting green, clutching my program and pen, on crutches from a bad motorcycle accident. I said hey Chi Chi, and he walked over, signed my program, and said I knew you wanted something!

I got Arnold Palmer to chat with me a moment and that was a great honor. I mentioned a guy in Alabama that made my putter, that had made a couple for Arnie in the 60s, and he actually asked me to say hello for him, the next time we spoke.

Here are some classic quotes from many a famous person, and I hope you enjoy them.

It matters not the sacrifice

Which makes the duffers wife so sore

I am the captain of my slice

I am the servant of my score.     Grantland Rice

There are two things that will not last long in this world, and that's dogs chasing cars, and pro's putting for pars.   Lee Trevino

The game of golf was started at 11:10 a.m., the first lie about a scorecard at 11:22, and the first golf joke at noon.   Bennett Serf

A game you play with your own worst enemy----yourself.  Finley Peter Dunne

The most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.  Chi Chi Rodriguez

A game in which you claim the privileges of age and retain the playthings of youth. Samuel Johnson

A game that begins with a golf ball and ends with a high ball. Bert Sugar

A game in which a ball 1 1/2 inches in diameter is played on a ball 8,000 miles in diameter. The object is to hit the small ball, but not the larger. John Cunningham

A game in which the ball lies poorly and the players well. Art Rosenblum

Through years of experience, I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt. Jack Nicklaus

I'm playing like Tarzan, and scoring like Jane  Chi Chi Rodriguez

When I hit the ball, I want someone else to go chase it. Baseball player Roger Hornsby, on why he did not play golf.

You can always spot the employee playing golf with his boss. He's the fellow who makes a hole in one and says, "oops!"   Bob Monkhouse

Golf seems like an arduous way to go for a walk. I prefer to take the dogs out. Princess Anne

I've got to figure out how to take a vacation from a vacation. Dave Stockton on playing the PGA Senior Tour.

GOLFERSWHO TALKFASTSWINGFAST!   Bob Toski

The loudest sound you hear is the guy jingling coins to distract a player he bet against. Jim Murray

The IRS has made liars out of more Americans than the game of golf. Will Rogers

What I like about golf is there are no bad calls. Ivan Lendl

Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards. Milton Berle

Golf is a good walk spoiled. Mark Twain

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. Paul Harvey

Golf is the hardest game to play, and the easiest to cheat at. Dave Hill

Golf is a compromise between what your ego wants you to do, what experience tells you to do, and what your nerves tell you to do. Bruce Crampton

Golf is a plague invented by Calvinist Scots to as a punishment for man's sins. James Reston

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball, into an even smaller hole. with weapons ill designed for that purpose. Winston Churchill

Find a man with both feet firmly on the ground and you've found a man about to make a difficult putt. Fletcher Knebel

I used to play golf with a guy who cheated so badly that he once had a hole-in-one and wrote down zero on the scorecard. Bob Bruce

Willie Nelson, discussing what par is on a golf course he bought. It's anything I want it to be. For instance, the hole right here is 47. and yesterday I birdied the sucker.

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