A-Rod Cheated Too (Casey at the Bat, Modernized)
The outlook was rather murky for MLB that year,
With a player strike came low attendance, perhaps the end was near.
Then something happened, Big Mac and Slammin’ Sammy, they went on a tear.
They both blew by Maris as if his record wasn’t even there.
It was kind of odd though, Sosa had never hit like that?
Big Mac? Maybe, but injury had plagued him, and for years on the bench he’s sat.
But hey record attendance, and the T.V. ratings soared,
Chicks dig the long ball and that cannot be ignored...
So Selig turned his head to the fact they may be on juice.
Anyway the home run race was the only thing that kept his job from the noose.
But then an unlikely crusader came forth that use to be an A.
That unexpected crusader? He went by the name of Jose.
He wrote a book called “Juiced” that exposed everyone who used.
He wasn’t holding nothing back, everyone abused.
From Mac, Bonds, and Giambi to Sosa and Palmeiro too.
Apparently everyone in the game was using since about 1992.
“No, not Mac!” the fans shouted, and “Sosa’s got to be clean as well,”
And anyway Canseco is just looking for attention as any fool can tell.
But then Balco got raided and things began to fall apart.
Perhaps Canseco had it right from the very start.
Congressional hearings, our leaders will sort this out,
This will bring an end to it without a doubt.
“I’m not here to talk about the past” Big Mac was heard to say.
Now does that honestly help the proceedings in any sort of way?
“I don’t understand what you’re saying,” came out of Sammy’s mouth.
“I’ve never used steroids from Rafy," and we all know how that went south.
So Selig called on George Mitchell to get to the bottom of it all,
He didn’t hold anything back, and lots of players names were about to fall.
What has happened to the grand old game?
All the modern sluggers tarnished, all with tainted names.
Steroids and amphetamines, HGH as well,
Who enhanced their performance was getting hard to tell.
But then one man was closing in on “The Record” and everyone began to fear,
That record was held by Aaron, second was the legend who did it on hot dogs and beer.
As Bonds got closer and closer, people were worried more,
Everyone hoping he got hurt, and others hoping for more.
Eventually he got to 756, as we all knew he would.
But there remained one man who could pass him; everyone says he could.
“Yeah there’s A-Rod. He’ll pass Bonds one day!”
“And He’s clean as a whistle; a hero in every way!”
“Yes, He’ll break the record, and baseball will be saved!”
“There’s our Savior,” everyone in baseball raved.
Then a reporter for S.I., oh, she had a story to tell,
Said that while in Texas, a drug test he did fail.
A-Rod came clean. He admitted what he’d done,
But sadly now he can’t be the one.
Everyone in despair, “Now, what do we do?”
There is no joy in baseball, for A-Rod cheated, too.
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