Believe it or not, Irish Nation, your team is the No. 1 college football team in the country as of November 18, 2012.
Sounds great, and I haven’t even dipped into my morning Bailey’s Irish Cream, although my mom is still haggling last night’s assault charges into some domestic disturbance misdemeanors and a stiff fine for a tavern front window and the splintered tinder that used to be a bar stool.
For those of you that dabble as bartenders, do not take her glass while there is still whiskey in it or there are consequences.
But I digress.
When the pollsters finally sober up and look at last night’s scores, ND will be atop the list of 124 FBS programs and No. 1 in the BCS rankings for the first time in history.
Yes, Kansas State’s Wildcats are the pretenders we all thought they were, as they were thoroughly whacked 52-24 in Waco by a .500 Baylor team that has given up over 50 points three times this year, even managing to drop 63 on West Virginia and still lose by seven.
Admittedly, Baylor’s defense has improved immensely since their defensive coordinator started putting at least three guys on the field every single play.
And as we all know, when the Oregon Ducks met Stanford’s Notre Dame-like defense they just quacked up. (I am allowing time to groan here. I am so sorry, but it had to be done.)
Despite winning the turnover battle 3-1 and getting so many bullcrap calls, all the bulls in the great Northwest were all pooped out, the 375,000th different fancy-ass Ducks uniform got beat by the non-fancy-ass standard red and white football issue of the Stanford Cardinal 17-14 in overtime.
Weird how these 50-plus points per game offenses break down when someone actually tackles.
So where does that leave Irish Nation? We have one task, and one task only.
We have to beat the hated USC Trojans next week in the Coliseum to get a shot at the national title.
There will be blood on both sides and thousands of lives could be lost, but we should beat them.