20 Athletes You Almost Feel Sorry for
By (Analyst) on November 15, 2012
15,788 reads
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They're drowning in wealth and date supermodels on the regular. Athletes, for one reason or another, are heroes to us all.
And when they get cut from a team or make a crucial error in a crucial situation, we can't help but feel bad for these same blessed athletes; even though we're the fans sitting in nosebleed sections with hand warmers in our trousers.
And then, immediately after we start sympathizing, we realize these athletes still possess overstuffed wallets and more female fans than The View. They don't need our pity, and we don't really feel bad.
Here are the 20 athletes we almost feel sorry for. Almost.
20. Tony Romo, NFL
Dale Zanine-US PRESSWIRE
Reasons to Feel Bad: Keeps failing in the clutch, coach Jason Garrett's play calling
But Wait: Married to Candice Crawford, makes $9 million this year
Conclusion: At 32, a playoff win is further and further away
19. Ryan Lochte, Swimming
Reasons to Feel Bad: His intelligence, blew the Olympic relay, his intelligence
But Wait: He tried to trademark the term "jeah"
Conclusion: Lochte's just living the dream
18. Tiger Woods, Golf
Brian Spurlock-US PRESSWIRE
Reasons to Feel Bad: Marriage fell apart, now eclipsed by Rory McIlroy
But Wait: Marriage fell apart because of his infidelities, makes over $50 million annually
Conclusion: The comeback kid?
17. Michael Vick, NFL
Dale Zanine-US PRESSWIRE
Reasons to Feel Bad: No offensive line, 10 fumbles and nine interceptions in nine games, blamed for Eagles problems
But Wait: $12.5 million annually, prematurely called Eagles a dynasty
Conclusion: We may have seen the last of the speedy southpaw
16. Alex Rodriguez, MLB
Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports
Reasons to Feel Bad: Hit safely three out of 25 times during this postseason, benched just as many times
But Wait: Nearly $30 million per year, flirted with a bikini model while being benched, arguably the cockiest individual in baseball
Conclusion: (See here)
15. Wes Welker, NFL
Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images
Reasons to Feel Bad: Dropped crucial pass in Super Bowl XLVI to seal Patriots fate, gets decked by double-sized defenders on the regular
But Wait: Married to Miss Hooters International Anna Burns, hauled in nearly $10 million this year
Conclusion: Like that fly in Breaking Bad
14. Lebron James, NBA
Brett Davis-US PRESSWIRE
Reasons to Feel Bad: Can never catch a break from the media or fans, receding hairline
But Wait: Just won a ring, has an elite supporting cast, pulls in over $17 million per year
Conclusion: People love to hate the best player in the world
13. Albert Haynesworth, NFL
Elsa/Getty Images
Reasons to Feel Bad: Jobless since being released by the Bucs in February, disgraced by the league
But Wait: Ate away a seven-year, $100 million contract from the Redskins
Conclusion: Couch potato
12. Sidney Crosby, NHL
Charles LeClaire-US PRESSWIRE
Reasons to Feel Bad: Concussion issues, ridiculed by most fans and opponents, considered a whiner
But Wait: $9 million per year, he's a whiner
Conclusion: The NHL's poster child
11. Vince Young, NFL
Rick Stewart/Getty Images
Reasons to Feel Bad: Six years after earning a $58 million contract–$26 million of it guaranteed–he's broke
But Wait: Never listened to anyone, bathed in his success, said he was on "another level"
Conclusion: Side-armed his way to free agency
10. Mario Balotelli, Soccer
Claudio Villa/Getty Images
Reasons to Feel Bad: Recently dropped from the Manchester City squad in a game against Tottenham, often misunderstood, failed in the flashiest fashion possible
But Wait: Failed in flashiest fashion possible, net worth of $8 million, ditched pregnant underwear-model girlfriend
Conclusion: Time for super Mario to focus on football
9. Kwame Brown, NBA
Howard Smith-US PRESSWIRE
Reasons to Feel Bad: former first-overall pick who never panned out, bullied by Michael Jordan
But Wait: $58 million-plus in career earnings, he once threw a cake at a man
Conclusion: He's enjoying a rotational role in Philly, life is good
8. Cam Newton, NFL
US PRESSWIRE
Reasons to Feel Bad: Panthers 2-7, Newton often seen sulking on the sidelines
But Wait: His sulking is a bad influence, his celebrations even more so
Conclusion: Prep quarterback Jalan McClendon ejected for doing Newton's "superman" celebration during a state playoff game
7. Ryan Howard, MLB
Steve Mitchell-US PRESSWIRE
Reasons to Feel Bad: After a ruptured Achilles kept him out the first 84 games, a broken toe suffered in the on-deck circle ended his 2012 season for good
But Wait: $125 million, set to walk down the aisle with a former Eagles cheerleader
Conclusion: Best years ahead?
6. Wade Redden, NHL
Bruce Bennett/Getty Images
Reasons to Feel Bad: Spent last two seasons in AHL, demoted by the Rangers, considered an overpaid player
But Wait: $5 million-plus per year
Conclusion: Lockout
5. Jason Bay, MLB
Brad Penner-US PRESSWIRE
Reasons to Feel Bad: Hit .234 with 26 home runs in three seasons with the Mets, just got dumped by the Mets
But Wait: Still getting paid $21 million he is owed, hit .165 with eight home runs and 20 RBI this year (C'Mon man)
Conclusion: Good riddance
4. Gilbert Arenas, NBA
Spruce Derden-US PRESSWIRE
Reasons to Feel Bad: Out of the NBA at 30, dropped from Adidas sponsorship in '09 because of handgun violations, his mean hibachi meals aren't appreciated enough
But Wait: Close to signing in China, made $111 million with the Wizards and Grizzlies
Conclusion: The Hibachi is still burning
3. Mark Sanchez, NFL
Steven Bisig-US PRESSWIRE
Reasons to Feel Bad: His Jets are 3-6, he's substituted for Tim Tebow after every positive play, the media won't leave him alone, the media calls him Tim
But Wait: He's dated Jamie-Lynn Sigler of The Sopranos and Eva Longoria of Desperate Housewives, hauls in nearly $60 million over the next five years and has a well-permed head of hair
Conclusion: Did we mention the GQ cover?
2. Chad Johnson, NFL
Steve Mitchell-US PRESSWIRE
Reasons to Feel Bad: Cut from Dolphins live on HBO, recently divorced from Evelyn Lozada
But Wait: Possible new girlfriend, had 10 illustrious seasons on the gridiron
Conclusion: No. 85 is never gone for good
1. Amar'e Stoudamire, NBA
Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images
Reasons to Feel Bad: Can't stay healthy, Carmelo Anthony is hogging the spotlight, fire extinguishers are everywhere
But Wait: $100 million over five years (paid more than LeBron James, Kevin Durant and Chris Paul), he punched a fire extinguisher
Conclusion: Hide the fire extinguishers
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