Jay Cutler—The Most Important Man Who Ever Lived

After reading Bleacher Report articles over the past few weeks, I have come to the undeniable conclusion that Denver Broncos quarterback Jay Cutler is, in fact, the most important human being ever to inhabit planet Earth. 

As of my last official tally, there have been exactly 29,443,324,653 articles written about this legendary man. In the time it took me to type that last sentence, approximately 45,000 more were just posted—and for good reason. 

Think about it. His new head coach mentioned how he might like to trade him, and Cutler voiced his displeasure. Wow. 

For the first time in sports history, let alone in the NFL, a player has publicly criticized the decisions of his team. The world has reacted with shock and awe at these unprecedented events, and the question has become, "Where will Jay Cutler end up?"

Surely he and McDaniels will never be able to make amends, get over it, and coexist with one another. While they are both technically "grown men," keep in mind that they are both under age 65 and that its a ridiculous notion to assume that kids as young as these two can show the kind of maturity necessary to work out their differences for the greater good of the team.

By now, we all know that Cutler will be traded. The possibility of Cutler playing for the Broncos this year is zero. 

He will be traded, but to whom? 

After reading several hundred thousand articles on the subject, I'd have to say that the smart money has him going to either the Bears, Lions, Vikings, Bucs, Jets, Browns, Rams, 49ers, Nittany Lions, Titans, Falcons, Packers, Mariners, Steelers, Jazz, Chiefs, Indians, Cowboys, Rangers, Dolphins, Seahawks, or Broncos. 

Best of luck to to Cutler wherever he goes, but don't expect to see him in a Bills uniform. Terrell Owens has very little patience for crybabies.