Dear Michael Vick...You're an Idiot

Dear Michael Vick,

Clearly, you're having a bad week. And the last thing you need is some nobody like me piling on. 

But I'd be remiss if I didn't comment on your current situation—you know, the one where you've been indicted in federal court for running a dogfighting ring, and now face up to six years in prison. 

Which I think earns you the unenviable distinction of being the stupidest player in the NFL.

And yes, I know what you're thinking: "Hey, man! I ain t that stupid! "

Uh, yeah Mike—you are.

You're certainly not the first NFL player to have a run-in with the law. In fact, police reports seem to be an epidemic in today's NFL—just ask Pacman Jones, or Tank Johnson, or any member of the Cincinnati Bengals. 

Still, Michael, your collar stands out as being particularly idiotic. While the crimes committed by other NFL players can be attributed to momentary lapses of reason, sometimes fueled by emotion or alcohol—your infraction was nothing of the sort: It was a well-planned business that had allegedly been operating since your rookie season in 2001.

My question: Why would a guy like you, who makes millions of dollars in contract and endorsement money, take part in an illegal business that can't possibly net anywhere near the scratch you earn in the NFL? 

My answer: Stupidity. 

Not convinced you're an idiot, Mr. Vick? 

There's more.

According to the indictment, there was at least one occasion, in 2003, on which you personally handed prize money to the owner of a victorious dog. Not exactly a brilliant move for someone in your position to be taking part in an illegal cash transaction. 

And if that weren't enough, the indictment also states that in early 2002, you and others affiliated with your operation obtained t-shirts and headbands brandishing the company name "Bad Newz Kennels. "

First of all, I hate to be a stickler here, but you misspelled "news." Second, it's probably not the best idea to walk around sporting clothing that identifies your illegal venture. 

I mean, I'm no criminal mastermind, but I doubt John Gotti walked around wearing a t-shirt that said, "Gambino Family."    

Look, Mike—truth be told, I never thought you were a Rhodes Scholar...or any kind of scholar, for that matter. But I thought you smarter than this: smart enough to understand how fortunate you were to be making millions playing football, smart enough to know that being involved in illegal dogfighting could jeopardize everything you had. 

But I was wrong. 

Clearly, you're an idiot. 

I guess now I understand why you've had so much trouble reading defenses.     

Moronically yours,

Dave

 

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