"Mr. Bush! Mr. Chaney! I found more Reserves!"

The Cleveland Cavalier reserve players, I’m sure, are what President George W. Bush and Dick Chaney would refer to as “The Saudi Arabia of Oil”. So much in fact that if quality bench players indeed were oil reserves… these beloved and fearless leaders would have to look no further than Cleveland, Ohio for their newest business relationships.

That being said Mr. President and Mr. Chaney, I with my own personal time have dedicated a list to you of possible upcoming “hot spots” you may want to look into “vacationing” at as soon as possible.

#8 "Visit" Venezu, I mean, New Jersey. In no way am I comparing Lawrence Frank or his actions to those of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, however I am referring to having Jason “Hugo” Kidd back, to call the shots for this inexperienced team. Yes “Hugo” whines and misses meeting, but he made NJ basketball what it is today. What NJ has going for them are Richard (I like to imitate Mutombo) Jefferson and Vince Carter, but we are talking about reserves which obviously means they have next to nothing. Darrell Armstrong? Stromile Swift? Trenton Hassell? Wait it get’s even better…..Keith Van Horne? These are the names they will call on to advance into the Playoffs. Not happening.

#7 "Visit" China a.k.a Atlanta. The Hawks are led by front office owner Michael Gearon, Vice- President Dominique Wilkins, and Director of Basketball Operation Billy Knight. This group has courageously stood up for their franchise (when no one else wanted nothing to do with it) for a number of years when things were down right ug-lay! The end result of those experiences now is a formidable and competitive starting line-up. Key word here, “starting”. The next project that lies in the future is the development of young players and/or the signing of more experienced veterans to get this team out of the first round of the playoffs.

Barrels of Reserves in Atlanta= 1  (Donated by Josh Childress)

                                                     30 mpg- 11.0 ppg- 5 rpg- 1.5 apg   

#6 "Visit" Russia a.k.a Orlando. The Magic. What get’s Putin and Turkoglu in trouble is their lack of size. The next biggest feature outside of Putin’s Kremlin is Hedo’s pal All- Star Dwight Howard. You ask who is “Superman’s” replacement when if he were to get in foul trouble or needs a quick rest? Try these household names on for size…Adonal “Aluminum” Foyle, Pat Garrity, and Brian “I Can’t” Cook. The strengths of this bench definitely come in with their guard play. Carlos Arroyo (20 mpg- 6.9 ppg- 3.4 apg), Keyon Dooling (18 mpg- 8 ppg- 1.7 apg), and Keith Bogan (27 mpg- 9.1 ppg- 1.2 apg). With the type of minutes and production the Orlando guards put out, Mr. JJ Redick may be better off making more shooting videos. 

Barrels of Reserves in Orlando= 3 (Donated by Keith Bogans, Keyon Dooling,and Carlos Arroyo)  

#5 "Visit" the United Arab Emirates a.k.a Washington. The Wizards. Exactly. Who in green acres are the United Arab whatever’s? Hold on, Ill explain. This is the same question that most of the NBA world ask when it comes to the Washington Wizard reserves, but breaking news…! Their, eh…alright (sub-confidently spoken). What we have to keep in mind here is that when or if “Agent Zero” shows up come playoff time they will have had Antonio Daniels (31 mpg- 8.8 ppg- 4.9 asp) and Roger Mason (21mpg- 8.6 ppg)  both who have spent a great deal of time at the point running the team. What our lovable second teamer’s lack is a true scorer off the bench at any position. 

Barrels of Reserves in Washington= 3 (Donated by Antonio Daniels, Roger Mason, and Darius Songalia)   

#4 "Visit" Iran a.k.a Detroit. The Pistons for much of the Eastern Conference and especially Clevelander’s, calling a team from Detroit, “Iran”, may not be such a stretch. The Pistons definitely seem solid enough when it comes to “big man” reserves with Jason Maxiell and newly acquired Theo Ratliff (though he is due for an injury soon). Where Detroit may get into trouble is when they need to go to their bench for guard play. Jarvis Hayes has to be the clear leader of first guard of the bench, but then who? Rodney Stuckey? Arron Afflalo? Surely they aren’t relying on 38 year old Lindsey Hunter to bring back his L.A. glory days. I think this is a real concern and the reason for signing Juan Dixon (10 mpg- 4.3 ppg) late.

Barrels of Reserves in Detroit= 3 (Donated by the blue-collar “bigs” and, though inexperienced, their athletic guards)   

#3 "Visit" Kuwait a.k.a Toronto. The Raptors. Ironic. No one really knows or wants to know where Kuwait is and no one really knows or wants to know where Toronto is. ..yet! Toronto can definitely make some noise this year in the playoffs. They like Washington and Orlando have very decent guard play coming off the bench with TJ Ford (22 mpg- 11.9 ppg), Carlos Delfino (24 mpg- 9.4 ppg), and Jason “Al” Kapono (19 mpg- 7.9 ppg). So what’s the problem with Toronto? No toughness. No blue collar. Toronto I think sneaks “big men” Kris Humphries and Rasho Neserovich into games hoping opposing big men don’t know their on the court to be taken advantage of. When they come in some comes the zone defense. 

Barrels of Reserves in Toronto= 3 (Dedicated by TJ, Carlos Delfino, and Jason Kopono)   

#2 "Visit" Iraq a.k.a Boston. The Celtics. Yes, Iraq, the place and team who is probably causing the most problems in their quest to conquer the world. They are experienced and have quality reserves at nearly every position. Here’s a question Doc Rivers may be faced with come playoffs…Does Rondo give way to Sam-I-Am in the starting line-up when it comes down to a huge or deciding game? Guards Eddie House and Tony Allen each bring something different based on the needs of the game. Eddie obviously offense and Tony bringing defense. Forward James Posey can guard most positions on the court. I also look for P.J. Browns minutes to begin to rise and Leon Powe brings quite a bit of beef and brawn needed against bigger front lines.

Barrells of Reserves in Boston= 4 (Donated by Wyc Grousbeck, Stephen Pagliuca, and H. Irving Grousbeck)  

#1 "Visit" Saudi Arabia a.k.a Cleveland. The Cavaliers. Here Mr. President and Mr. Cheney I would like to show you some of the bigger guards in the Eastern Conference with 6’7” Sasha Pavlovic, 6’5” Devin Brown, 6’2” Daniel “Boobie” Gibson, and 6’3” Damon Jones. These guys have the ability to post up their smaller defenders, drive past bigger forwards, and can flat out shoot the ball while all attention is on Bron-Bron.

Over here we have two very versatile forwards in 6’7” Wally Szczberiak and 6’10” Joe Smith. They are physical and playoff experienced players. They can also definitely step out to hit jump shots in order to keep the middle of that lane wide open.

Lastly there is Anderson Varejao. Definitely unorthodox but a larger and more skilled Dennis Rodman perhaps.

Barrels of Reserves in Cleveland= 5 (Donated by Danny Ferry)