Using what must have been at least 24 individual tweets, Barch poured out a prose poem that left no relevant emotions unturned.
Before and since, handfuls of his 700-plus peers have taken the more conventional one-liner approach with their Twitter accounts. Some have gone all out for humor’s sake while others have made admirable points as to the lockout’s extensive consequences.
In alphabetical order―and with a few repeat occurrences―the NHL players who have combined for the 25 best quick hits against the impending and ongoing labor strife are as follows.
Essentially the Barch of the Phoenix Coyotes (in more ways than one), Paul Bissonnette has likely surprised no one by weighing in on the work stoppage. His most amusing update so far concerns the facial hair he has apparently turned loose since training camp was initially put on hold.
Bissonnette is among the least likely to ever have a multi-goal game, which incidentally seems to be part of the joke in this tweet. But he will strike twice in this slideshow, scoring a tongue-in-cheek look at a personal silver lining to the NHL’s lack of game action to date in 2012-13.
Okay, he’s got the hat trick here with his slightly more original take on fairness to the fans.
Even for the most tech-savvy consumers, Matt Carle’s doctored photo of the scoreboard with the image of his puck-wielding pet has to impress with the obvious brainstorming and effort it required.
And it was all for the positive purpose of trying (albeit in vain) to avert a labor stalemate that officially struck roughly two weeks after this tweet was published.
You have to commend Ryan Clowe’s efforts to find a delicate balance between propitiation and outright submission to his current, off-ice labor rivals.
The journeyman blueliner made a not-so-subtle reference to his sudden lack of preoccupation in the late evening and small hours when he otherwise would have been skating and unwinding up to three times a week. In turn, he offered a way―however jokingly it may have been―to familiarize himself with his fanbase while passing the time.
Profundity is hard to produce with such a stringent character limit, but Tyler Cuma delivers just that about as well as any Twitter user could with his assessment of the situation.
Much like the aforementioned Commodore, Mike Green has engaged his fans/followers by addressing the massive void in his agenda.
Jack Johnson does not get too cute with his lockout-related post. That is at least until he polishes it off with a billboard-type visual aid and a solid slogan.
Unfortunately, this tweet triggered a discussion with a little bit of unsavory language underneath, just to warn those who follow the link.
For Evander Kane’s part, though, his initial post as well as his response to responders gives off a vibe of calm, collected class and a dash of harmless wit.
The response thread to this tweet from the Maple Leafs’ defenseman also has an instance of unsavory word choice, so click with caution.
At any rate, John-Michael Liles did the unthinkable here by giving sportswriters (or at least this one) a reason to sympathize with commissioner Gary Bettman.
Note to Bettman: Do not get used to that sympathy. Leaving aside the less-than-credible notion that a modicum of athletic prowess automatically equals a modicum of sports knowledge, the three exponentially more catastrophic work stoppages on the incumbent commissioner’s watch speak for themselves.
Only Henrik Lundqvist can say for sure, but this tweet from two days before the lockout’s official outset does inevitably help to stress the ongoing void in every hockey heart.
As it is with a few other entries, there is nothing really creative or clever in this post from Joffrey Lupul, but it raises a point that not many other public figures have raised.
If one is to stress the urge to end this lockout, there are few game plans more ideal than slyly underscoring one of the primal setbacks from the last lockout.
That was precisely what Brett MacLean did in expressing his hope to see his peers back in action even after he himself was forced to retire prematurely.
The prospective St. Louis Blues stopper offered a reminder of at least one group of lockout victims that are arguably forgotten even more than fans and NHL arena employees. Those would be players who are trying to ascend the professional ranks, but are bumped down the depth chart in bona fide domino fashion when NHL-caliber players are forced to take AHL jobs.
The Tampa Bay Lightning forward made like many of his fans and sought an alternative form of sports-based entertainment elsewhere in the state. While he was at it, he made what one can assume was a joking threat, but do note that college football will be over by early January, at which point the NHL season will be on its thinnest ice if it is not already underway.
Guess Tyler Seguin didn’t expect he would be on the other side of the great pond again for his big two-year anniversary, did he?
Sneak a lockout joke into a personal account of a Halloween costume party? Why not?