The San Francisco Giants will be played into the sunset on a wave of champagne and the soft melodies of a parody anthem that is really rather sweet.
This is painful.
I could feign some sort of enthusiasm to you sports fans that I am stoked the Giants won the World Series, but some of you know better.
Born and raised in the better half of California and into Dodger blue loyalty precludes me from smiling while mentioning the word Giants and feeling nauseated when World Series champions joins it in a sentence.
So you can see my qualms when NOC released this rather fantastic parody anthem based on the song "Ho Hey" by The Lumineers.
The melody is soothing yet dramatic, sort of like a sourdough bowl of clam chowder eaten near a San Francisco pier.
It's a perfect way to celebrate the Giants championship, and I couldn't be more upset about it.
I found out a lot about myself and the Giants during the 2012 playoffs. I learned Pablo Sandoval could cover slightly more ground than an actual panda, and he has a better feel for defense than one as well.
I learned Sandoval does still have tremendous power, but reserves dramatic showings of offense for the World Series.
I also learned that a few seasons of ineptitude can be dissolved by pitching perfection in October; just ask Barry Zito.
Tim Linceum does look good out of the bullpen, Marco Scutaro is a beast who should be feared and Angel Pagan is a playoff pest that makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.
Hunter Pence still looks like he picked up the game of baseball two months ago but plays like a cagey vet, and that makes me sad.
Congrats, SF Giants. You even managed to win some respect from this grumpy Dodgers fan.
Oh, I also learned the Detroit Tigers are great at hide and seek, because they managed to disappear on national TV.
Follow me on Twitter for more nonsense.
Like the new article format? Send us feedback!