Pat Fitzgerald is wired differently than you or me. This much is obvious and has been obvious since he was the one strapping on pads in Evanston. His blood type is "I." That's short for "intensity," and if you don't believe that's a real blood type, he is more than willing to shoot eye lasers right through your face.
So you can imagine that one of the things Fitzgerald is the least interested in is ordering his players to spend part of a game day asleep. In fact, you don't have to imagine it, because that's exactly what he told Teddy Greenstein of the Chicago Tribune:
"Unbelievable," he said. "This is what I get paid to do. Seriously. Create nap time. It's pathetic."
A snooze-in at the team hotel six hours before kickoff? Quarterback Kain Colter loves the idea. "We'll wake up, have our pregame meal, do our mental things and then have a mandatory nap," he said. "Those hotel beds are really comfortable and the pillows are soft. (Then) we'll come down refreshed and ready to kick some butt."
According to Greenstein, the players told Fitzgerald that a sluggish start in an afternoon game with Boston College was due to not having their regular nap (sidenote: naps are awesome), and while Northwestern was still able to come away with a 22-13 win on account of Boston College being terrible at football, the Wildcats don't have the luxury of taking a half off against Nebraska.
So an unbelievable, pathetic nap is coming. And Pat Fitzgerald even made it official by tweeting out this picture of the Northwestern game-day schedule:
Yes, nap time is actually listed on this week's travel itinerary. twitter.com/coachfitz51/st…— Pat Fitzgerald (@coachfitz51) October 17, 2012
Now hang on. Hang on. Mr. Intensity himself, Pat Fitzgerald, calls the nap a "Cat Nap"? We get the pun, they're the 'cats, yadda yadda yadda.
But could there be a less inspiring label for your team's break session than "Cat Nap?" Maybe that's on purpose by Fitzgerald, to not even hide his disdain for the mandated nap—though if Northwestern comes out strong and whips Nebraska, guess who's getting as many Cat Naps as they want?
But this sets up a delightful new precedent of Pat Fitzgerald giving demeaning names to things he doesn't like. Say goodbye to the training room, say hello to the "Baby's Got An Ouchie Playpen." Transfers? "Traitors." And the referees...well, we can't print what Pat Fitzgerald would like to call the referees.