New Orleans Saints: What a Chick Wants, What a Chick Needs

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New Orleans Saints: What a Chick Wants, What a Chick Needs

 

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Since we didn’t get what we wanted for Christmas (a Saints playoff appearance), nor what we wanted for Valentines Day (a butt naked Reggie Bush/Marques Colston/Lance Moore/Pierre Thomas doing our laundry before making us breakfast), we figure with our collective birthdays coming up, third time’s a charm. And so, we hereby offer you the Chicks’ three wishes for the Saints this offseason.

#1: Safety

Let’s not play coy people; we all know the downfall of the Saints the past two seasons. Offenses ranging in skill set from mediocre to downright awful somehow managed to light up our secondary like a Christmas Tree. Hell, we even made that s.o.b. Kyle Orton look like Joe Montana on one very forgettable and frigid Thursday night in 2008. If the future of our secondary lies in the hands of Kevin Kaesviharn, Josh Bullocks, and Chris Reis, how’s about we just pack it in now and bring back the New Orleans Voodoo arena team?

#2: Outside Linebacker

We thankfully resigned Jon Vilma, but the Saints defense can still use some shoring up at the outside linebacker position.

#3: Corner

We’re hopeful this issue was addressed with the addition of Jabari Greer. Tracy Porter looked pretty good last season, before his injury. Since Mike McKenzie’s knees seem to already be measuring the analyst chair over at ESPN, we’ll need another reliable corner in the fold just in case. To put it bluntly, The Chicks yearn for the day when we don’t experience a near panic attack when the likes of Tyler Thigpen drops back for a “Hail Mary.”

#4(Yeah we know we said three wishes, but we WISH to do Four!): Get Deuce back.

In a perfect world, Deuce hangs around the free agent market for a while before the Saints, realizing they hold all the bargaining power, offer him a reduced but respectable contract. He agrees to resign, there are no hard feelings, and everyone goes out for pizza.

Hey, a chick can dream, right?

Wanna know what our enemies crave this offseason (other than a cooler city to have been born in)? Check it out on the NFL Outsider

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