Look, being a football captain is hard work, OK? If you don't believe it, inquire with England skipper Steven Gerrard.
In addition to all the leadership responsibilities and on-field expectations, captains have another highly stressful task to care of on a game-by-game basis. In this case, that task is…uh…fielding questions in one's native language.
It sounds simple, but it's apparently not.
In the video above, which serves as the Set Piece Video of the Day for this Tuesday, Gerrard fields questions at a press conference along with England manager Roy Hodgson ahead of the Three Lions' World Cup qualifying match against Poland on Tuesday night.
Clearly anticipating a question in Polish—such a query would be translated into England almost instantaneously via his headphones—Gerrard hunkers down in a crouch of clear, unbroken concentration.
Then he realizes the question is actually coming through the airwaves in English, while the translation headphones are streaming the sweet sounds of Polish.
Yep, Stevie, believe it or not, others outside England can speak English. See, it all goes back to the British Empire, trans-Atlantic trade, the rise of the modern international marketplace and, well, that's a story for another time.
For now we'll just pass along snarky comments. As the fellas over at Who Ate All the Pies quipped, "Now he knows who the rest of us feel when Jamie Carragher starts talking."
If you're not wise to the allusion, it's a referece to the Liverpool defender's famously thick Scouse accent. Carragher's accent is so inscrutable, in fact, that the producers of the American television show Being: Liverpool have been using subtitles when he speaks—though that hasn't been necessary for non-native speakers Pepe Reina (first language: Spanish) and Lucas Leiva (Portuguese).
So, today's lesson is clear. If you're a native English speaker, you probably don't speak English as well as everyone else.