Arsenal Forward Lukas Podolski Learns London Slang with Ray Parlour (Video)

Michael Cummings@MikeCummings37World Football Lead WriterOctober 12, 2012

On Thursday, we brought you Brazilians playing Brazilian-style football in Germany.

On Friday, we bring you a German trying to speak English like a Londoner.

And yes, it's as entertaining as it sounds.

In the video above, former Arsenal midfielder Ray Parlour instructs new forward Lukas Podolski in the ways of London slang. Podolski, a German international, actually does pretty well, considering English isn't his first language.

To be fair, the slang Parlour teaches Podolski shouldn't be anyone's first language. But it's fun to watch, and it's our Video of the Day here at Set Piece. Enjoy.

The most entertaining parts, in our humble judgment:

"I just come from the Fat Boy Slim (the gym), go down to the rub-a-dub (pub) for a few Britney Spears (beer)."


I hit the Albert Hall (ball) into the beans and toast (post).

You get the idea. If you're going to live in London, you have to make up crazy slang for every little thing. Plus, you have to talk like Ray "Romford Pele" Parlour. This is, apparently, non-negotiable.

The best thing about all of this, of course, is the potential for a tasty double entendre. Or two, or three.

Case in point: We're sure that as long as Podolski lays off the Britney Spears and keeps putting the ball in the Blow Pop hole (Er, that's the goal. Get your minds out of the gutter), the fans will keep loving him forever.

Until he inevitably signs with a Manchester club. Now try to make a rhyme out of that.

(h/t Lady Arse via Who Ate All the Pies)